Category: Help For Mid Life

Book Review: Still – Notes On A Mid-Faith Crisis by Lauren F. Winner

Would Be Much More Helpful if Centered on Christ, and Not on Self

Every once in a while I randomly pick a book simply because the topic intrigues me. As a Christian pastor and professional life coach, one of the issues I specialize in is helping Christians transition into what’s been termed as the “new normal.” In other words, what used to be normal in one’s life is gone and lost forever, and for some it becomes a very serious conundrum. What do I do now that I lost my job? My marriage? My kids? My health? My money? And the list and litany of life changing questions demand answers and solutions.

I was hoping that this book would be helpful to me – as a pastor who is transitioning myself – from being a senior pastor – to a life coach; from having five kids at home – to being an empty nester; from having a very comfortable life – to one that is very financially uncertain. As well as a help to those I counsel, disciple, and coach in transition.

The book was interesting, transparent and authentic, well written, worth reading, but in the final analysis – unhelpful and leaves you without the hope that we are offered in Jesus Christ. The most disappointing thing to me was the that the writer never really arrives at answers, nor the hope, and help of the gospel that is found in Jesus Christ. She finds her “answers” in the community of faith, poetry, daily meanderings to varied places, and various encounters with strangers.

Winner drew me in to her world and when I finished the book I wanted to help her. Instead of helping me, I was drawn to come alongside her as a friend, counselor, pastor, and coach. Her understanding of what it means to have a relationship with Jesus appears to be much like that of a teenager trying to get into the “cool” group of peers. I believe that Lauren is sincere, smart, a very talented writer, but she appears to be directionless and lost – and a lost person who has no directions – is ill equipped to genuinely help people who are “lost and directionless.”

I can sympathize and empathize with Winner. I like her – I think we would be good friends. I think she would make a good listener, and empathizer herself. What’s missing is her own security in Christ, in the truth, in the authority of God’s Word, and in the gospel.

The book I would recommend that Winner and anyone else reading this review would devour on the topic Winner addresses is Paul David Tripp’s book “Lost in the Middle: Midlife and the Grace of God.” Whether you are in mid-life or mid-faith crises, Tripp’s book wonderfully articulates the realities of sin, redemption, reconciliation, and redemption in such a way that you can find real grace, hope, and solutions by putting your trust in Jesus Christ and in Him alone for your salvation, and sanctification – resulting in significance, present and eternal security, and life long solutions – for the “new normals” of your life.

Book Review: Lost in the Middle by Paul David Tripp

Great Help For Applying God’s Grace To Your Life

 I want to write out the outset that this book (along with “The Holiness of God” by R. C. Sproul; “Heaven” by Peter Kreeft; “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality” by Pete Scazzero and “Prodigal God” by Tim Keller) has been one of the top paradigm shifting books I have read to help me change my thinking – radically. I also, have to write that I do not have the skill or ability to describe or recommend this book with the superlatives it deserves. I can only write that if you are struggling with “mid-life crisis” this book is absolute MUST reading and I’m confident that you will be much better off by reading it.

All that written – on with the review. I have personally battled depression my whole life. I am a perfectionist and have had to learn to “chill out” over the years, because I have found that things break, plans don’t work out the way you thought they would, and God is sovereign and I’m overwhelmingly NOT!

In this book Paul Tripp brilliantly exegetes reality and brokenness in this fallen world in which we live. He gives dozens of illustrations from the Bible, and men and women in the 21st century to point out the various manifestations of why so many people struggle with the mid-life years. I have read the book twice (and I’m certain – I will read it again) because so many of the stories are about my own struggles. He brings out in the open so many thoughts, and questions that many of us wrestle with and answers them with penetrating insight, theological depth, and practical life giving grace.

This book is not an easy read. I think the more you struggle with life (especially in your middle years) – the harder it will be to read. I found myself crying, and physically aching as I read some of the stories and analysis from Tripp’s pen. However, in the final analysis the book leads you to a fresh new start and brilliantly applies the gospel to your life. Brimming with hope – Tripp shows very practically how God’s purposes and plans for your life will be fulfilled, no matter what you have done, or how you feel at this stage of life.

I have been immensely helped in so many ways from reading this book. Let me list just five:

1)    It was just flat out helpful to have so many of the things I’ve thought and felt be identified and addressed so insightfully by the author – in other words – “I’m not crazy” – there are actually millions of people that have gone and are going through what I am during this stage of life – and they are still trucking!

2)    I learned to appreciate the realities of God’s design for humanity and how His plans will culminate – my story is a part of the fulfillment of the Great Story of the Bible. Tripp helps you to see that nothing in your life is wasted, and that Christ’s victory on the cross is also your ultimate victory as well. Your failure has been nullified by Christ’s Person and Work on your behalf. We have fallen, but He has picked us up. We have failed, but He has succeeded, and ultimately everything will be made new and perfect again – forever!

3)    I was so encouraged over and over again. Sometimes I feel like a major failure in every area of life: as a Christian, pastor, provider, husband, father, taking care of myself physically, and the list can go on and on. However, Tripp is able to bring out the positive realities that result from recognizing our weaknesses and how that makes God’s grace such a wonderful reality for us.

4)    I felt like I got to sit down with Jesus as I read this book. Perhaps one of the most helpful things he did in the book is show how much we are like the people in the Bible (even though we think we are not). The author has such a good grasp of theology, the Bible, and what God and people are like – that almost everything he writes is penetrating the deepest recesses of your soul. I think Paul Tripp is very wise, because he has a very intimate relationship with Jesus and brings that relationship to the reader in the book. It made me want to know God more intimately, the Bible more than I do, and to walk more closely with Jesus.

5)    It made me even more excited about Heaven and to live for that which will last forever. It made me want to live more simply, for others, and for those things that will please my Master – Jesus. Like many of the Psalms – I started reading the book in a discouraged and depressed state, and by the end of the book I was able to praise my Lord with a smile on my face, and with joy in my soul.

I feel like this review is rubbish compared to how GOOD this book actually is. I can only say that this book will help you to understand your sin, need of a Savior, and need for His grace more than you ever have before. Also, that His grace is MUCH greater than all your sin. One more thing – anyone at any life stage can benefit tremendously from this book – you don’t have to be struggling through mid-life to benefit from this book. Get this book, get copies to give away, and grow in His amazing grace. Thanks, Paul Tripp – and I hope that many more people will read and benefit from this book – I sure have!

Book Review: Mid-Course Correction by Gordon MacDonald

Much Needed Soul Surgery Motivation for Mid-Life

I read this book when I was in my mid thirties (preparing for mid-life) and now I have read it a second time in my mid forties (wrestling and struggling with mid-life). I must admit that I enjoyed it more this time around, because I have been bruised, bent, and broken a lot more than I ever experienced in my thirties or up until that point. I suppose I will probably be reading this book again in my mid fifties too!

I am partial to MacDonald’s writing because he is a deep thinker, good story-teller, and weaves biblical principles in ways that are practical, well thought ought, and go beyond clichés.

This book is beneficial in helping one pause and take stock and evaluate their life. It is especially geared to helping those who aren’t sure what to do with their lives; have had to, or desire to change careers, or are out of work; wrestling with meaning, purpose, and in need of hope and direction. It is thought provoking and doesn’t necessarily give all the answers you may be looking for, but sets you on the right course – and helps to correct taking the wrong course for sure.

In the body of the book MacDonald weaves his own story (and our own) with those of Abraham, Moses, The People of Israel, Paul, and the Disciples and uses the outline of the fact that we need to leave something behind; learn to follow Christ; and reach for higher possibilities. Learning, following, and reaching are well developed emotionally, spiritually, and practically and steeped in a good theology of “being” like Christ, rather than merely “doing” all the time.

Gordon emphasizes the fact that God wants us to have depth of character, and this depth can really only be achieved through suffering, faith when we can’t see, trying when we don’t know if we will succeed. However, all these factors and more are necessary in our lives in order that we may become deep people internally (in and from the soul) with proven character.

I have been helped significantly through MacDonald’s writing as a broken man to another broken man, and have been given more hope through his writing in pointing me to Jesus – the only One worth following, being like, and living for. Gordon writes like a master surgeon on the soul – taking out what needs to be removed and fixes what needs to be fixed. GMAC (I’m told that’s what his friends call him) – thanks again for your writing that goes deep into the mind and heart and for healing wounds and souls for the glory of God.

Book Review: Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero

The “Missing Link” in Christian Discipleship

Pete Scazzero (the pastor of a thriving church in New York) writes a very transparent and yet helpful account of how Christians have a tendency to neglect two areas of their lives: the emotions, and the realities of generational sin. He begins the book by demonstrating how devastating this can be in relationships, and how this affects the corporate health of the body of Christ. What this does ultimately is it creates a “false peace” that deals only with symptoms and not the causes of what makes for unhealthy relationships.

I think this book is must reading for all Christians, especially church leaders (pastors, teachers, small group leaders, etc.) because I think most interpersonal relationships, marriages, families, and thus churches live in this reality Scazzero calls “false peace.” In the book he gives various examples from his life, and others lives – as well as many biblical examples of how to identify these real emotional and sinful tendencies, and how to correct them through the biblical disciplines.

For example – I have discipled numerous men over the years (as a pastor and professional life coach) who know the Bible well, but their relationships are a mess. Sometimes they have a ton of repressed anger inside, or are trying to “make up” for the approval they never received at home, or they have an incurable “lust” problem, etc. Ultimately, all these “realities” are typically below the surface in the discipleship process – and never dealt with. We give people more verses; more lists of dos and don’ts, and continue to live in this realm of false peace.

Scazzero builds a great case in the book for identifying personal and generational sin, and gives excellent tools for grappling with, and overcoming these areas of sin with the help of God’s Word and the Holy Spirit. I can’t recommend this book (and the workbook that goes with it) highly enough. I think if Christians and churches (he’s also written a book called the Emotionally Healthy Church with a workbook that goes with it) want to really become healthy and rid the false peace and barriers that have been built up over time, you can’t do any better than to read and work through this book.

My wife and I have read this book and gone through the workbook at least four times, and it has been absolutely life transforming. Along with R.C. Sproul’s the “Holiness of God,” and Peter Kreeft’s (“Heaven: The Heart’s Deepest Longing”) and Randy Alcorn’s books on Heaven – this book has radically changed my thinking and behavior – and has helped me repent of, and deal with sin in my life in a way that few books have helped me to do. I think every Christian should read this book more than once and go through the workbook with another person, or several people (small groups are ideal – especially if they are a close knit small group).

As a pastor and church leader for many years I also recommend that staff’s, elders, and ministry teams go through this book and the Workbook based on this book for healthier teams that will radically benefit the body of Christ for good. If I could give this a higher rating than a five I would – this book is one of the greatest gifts of God’s grace I’ve received – it has helped me in all of my relationships – with God, other believers, and those who have yet to believe – and taken me to a deeper level in all these relationships than I ever thought possible.

 

*Peter Scazzero is the Founder and Senior Lead Pastor of New Life Fellowship Church. A graduate of Gordon-Conwell (MDiv) and Eastern Baptist Theological Seminary (DMin in marriage and family), he is also the author of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality (Nelson, 2006), The Emotionally Healthy Church: Expanded (Zondervan, 2010), and Begin the Journey with the Daily Office (WCA, 2009). Pete has been married to his best friend, Geri, and together they have four daughters – Maria, Christy, Faith and Eva. He loves libraries, bookstores, and the printed page — on almost any topic. Basketball, hiking and the outdoors (thanks to Geri), laughter, Italian opera, history, and great meals with family, are among his greatest joys. Pete and Geri are co-founders of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality.