Tag: Marriage

Marriage Resources Compiled by David Craig

(Revised: 4/17/2023 – Those Marked with an “*” are Highly Recommended)

ABUSE

  • Clarke, David E. Enough Is Enough: A Step-by-Step Plan to Leave an Abusive Relationship with God’s Help.
  • *Strickland, Darby A. Domestic Abuse: Help for the Sufferer
  • *Strickland, Darby A. Domestic Abuse: Recognize, Respond, Rescue.
  • *Strickland, Darby A. Is It Abuse?: A Biblical Guide to Identifying Domestic Abuse and Helping Victims.

MADE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD (The Imago Dei):

  • *Brand, Dr. Paul and Philip Yancey. Fearfully and Wonderfully: The Marvel of Bearing God’s Image.
  • Hoekema, Anthony A. Created in God’s Image.
  • Kilner, John F. Dignity and Destiny: Humanity in the Image of God.
  • Lints, Richard. Identity and Idolatry: The Image of God and Its Inversion.
  • Seamands, Stephen. Ministry in the Image of God: The Trinitarian Shape of Christian Service.
  • *Sproul, R.C. The Hunger for Significance: Seeing the Image of God in Man.
  • *Wilkin, Jen. In His Image: 10 Ways God Calls Us to Reflect His Character.

THE SINGLE CHRISTIAN

  • *Alberry Sam. 7 Myths About Singleness.
  • Ballenger, Mark. The Ultimate Guide to Christian Singleness.
  • Chediak, Alex. With One Voice: Singleness, Dating & Marriage to the Glory of God.
  • Cloud, Henry and John Townsend. Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
  • Chapman, Gary. The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition: The Secret That Will Revolutionize Your Relationships
  • *Hiestand, Gerald, and Jay S. Thomas. Sex, Dating, and Relationships: A Fresh Approach.
  • Maxson, J. Robin and Garry Friesen. “I Do” or “Do I?” Are You Ready To Change Your Relationship Status?
  • Maxson, J. Robin and Garry Friesen. Singleness, Marriage, and the Will of God.
  • *Pokluda, J.P. and Kevin McConaghy. Outdated: Find Love That Lasts When Dating Has Changed.
  • *Pokluda, J.P. and Kevin McConaghy. Welcome to Adulting: Navigating Faith, Friendship, Finances, and the Future.
  • *Pokluda, J.P. Welcome to Adulting Survival Guide: 42 Days to Navigate Life.
  • Rineheart, Stacy T., and Paula Rinehart. Choices: Finding God’s Way in Dating, Sex, Marriage, and Singleness.
  • *Phillips, Richard D., and Sharon L. Holding Hands, Holding Hearts: Recovering a Biblical View of Christian Dating.
  • Priolo, Lou. Danger Signs of an Unhealthy Dating Relationship.
  • *Segal, Marshall. Not Yet Married: The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating.
  • Smith, William P. Starting Over: How Not to Screw Up Your Next Relationship.
  • Smith, William P. Who Should I Date?: Relationship Advice for the Real World.
  • *Strachan, Owen. Whole in Christ: A Biblical Approach to Singleness.
  • *Stuart, Ben. Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age.
  • *Sweet, Jenilyn. Singleness: Living Faithfully (31-Day Devotionals for Life).

BEFORE GETTING ENGAGED/MARRIED

  • *Baker, Ernie. Marry Wisely, Marry Well.
  • Burns, Jim & Fields, Doug. Getting Ready for Marriage: A Practical Road Map for Your Journey Together.
  • Chapman, Gary. Things I Wish I’d Known Before We God Married.
  • Green, Rob. Tying the Knot: A Premarital Guide to a Strong and Lasting Marriage.
  • *Harley, Jr. Willard F. I Promise You: Preparing For A Marriage That Will Last a Lifetime.
  • Mack, Wayne A. Preparing for Marriage God’s Way: A Step-By-Step Guide for Marriage Success Before and After the Wedding.
  • McKinley, Mike. Engagement: Preparing for Marriage (31-Day Devotionals for Life).
  • Parrott, Les & Leslie. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions To Ask Before and After You Marry.
  • Piper, John. Preparing for Marriage: Help for Christian Couples.
  • Roberts, Wes & Wright, H. Norman. Before You Say “I Do.”
  • Smalley, Greg and Erin. Before You Plan Your Wedding…Plan Your Marriage.
  • Smalley, Greg and Erin. Ready to Wed: 12 Ways to Start a Marriage You’ll Love.
  • Smith, William P. Should We Get Married?: How to Evaluate Your Relationship.
  • Thomas, Gary. 9 Must Have Conversations For a Doubt-Free Wedding Day.
  • Thomas, Gary. Preparing Your Heart for Marriage: Devotions for Engaged Couples.
  • *Thomas, Gary. The Sacred Search: What if It’s Not about Who You Marry, but Why?
  • *Wright, H. Norman. 101 Questions to ask Before You Get Engaged.
  • *Wright, H. Norman. Before You Say “I Do”: A Marriage Preparation Guide for Couples.
  • *Wright, H. Norman. Before You Say “I Do” Devotional: Building a Spiritual Foundation for Your Life Together.
  • *Wright, H. Norman. Starting Out Together: A Devotional for Dating or Engaged Couples.

MARRIAGE

  • *Ash, Christopher. Married For God: Making Your Marriage the Best It Can Be.
  • Begg, Alistair. Lasting Love. How to Avoid Marital Failure.
  • Chan, Francis and Lisa. You And Me Forever: Marriage In Light of Eternity.
  • Chapell, Bryan. Each For The Other: Marriage As It’s Meant To Be.
  • Chapman, Gary. Happily Ever After: Six Secrets to a Successful Marriage.
  • *Chapman, Gary. The 4 Seasons of Marriage: Secrets to a Lasting Marriage.
  • Chester, Tim. Gospel-Centered Marriage: Becoming the Couple God Wants You to Be.
  • Crabb, Larry. The Marriage Builder. Creating Oneness To Transform Your Marriage.
  • *Farley, William P. Marriage In Paradise: How to Have a Genesis two Marriage in a Genesis three World.
  • *Curt Hamner, John Trent, et al. Marriage: Its Foundation, Theology, and Mission in a Changing World.
  • *Girgis, Sherif, Ryan T. Anderson, Robert P. George, eds. What Is Marriage: Man and Woman: A Defense.
  • *Ingram, Chip. Marriage That Works: God’s Way of Becoming Spiritual Soul Mates, Best Friends, and Passionate Lovers.
  • *Keller, Timothy and Kathy. The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God.
  • Kostenberger, Andreas J. & Jones  David W. God, Marriage, and Family. Rebuilding The Biblical Foundation.
  • *LaPierre, Scott. Your Marriage God’s Way: A Biblical Guide to a Christ-Centered Relationship.
  • Lewis, Robert & Hendricks, William. Rocking The Roles: Building a Win-Win Marriage.
  • Mead, Peter. Lost in Wonder: A Biblical Introduction to God’s Great Marriage.
  • *Ortlund, Ray. Marriage and the Mystery of the Gospel.
  • Piper, John. This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence.
  • Rainey, Dennis & Barbara. Starting Your Marriage Right: What You Need To Know In The Early Years To Make It Last a Lifetime.
  • Rainey, Dennis & Barbara. Staying Close: Stopping The Natural Drift Toward Isolation in Marriage.
  • *Savage, Timothy B. No Ordinary Marriage: Together For God’s Glory.
  • Smalley, Erin. Reconnected: Moving from Roommates to Soulmates in Marriage (Focus on the Family)
  • Smalley, Gary. The DNA of Relationships: Discover How You Are designed for Satisfying Relationships.
  • Smalley, Gary & Trent, John. Love is a Decision: Proven Techniques to Keep Your Marriage Alive and Lively.
  • *Smalley, Gary and Shawn Stoever. The Wholehearted Marriage: Fully Engaging Your Most Important Relationship.
  • Smith, Winston T. Marriage Matters: Extraordinary Change Through Ordinary Moments.
  • *Sproul, R.C. The Intimate Marriage: A Practical Guide To Building A Great Marriage.
  • *Swindoll, Charles R. Marriage From Surviving to Thriving.
  • Thomas, Gary. A Lifelong Love: How to Have Lasting Intimacy, friendship, and Purpose in Your Marriage.
  • Thomas, Gary. Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything For Your Marriage.
  • Thomas, Gary. Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?
  • Towns, Ruth and Elmer. How To Build a Lasting Marriage: Lessons From Biblical Couples.
  • *Tripp, Paul David. Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make.
  • Wright, H. Norman. After You Say “I Do.”
  • Wright, H. Norman. 101 Ways To Build a Stronger, More Exciting Marriage.
  • Young, Ed. The 10 Commandments of Marriage: The Do’s and Don’s for a Lifelong Covenant.

HISTORICAL MODELS OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

  • Callahan, Patti. Becoming Mrs. Lewis.
  • Curtis, Carolyn and Mary Pomroy Key, eds. Women and C.S. Lewis: What his life and literature reveal for today’s culture.
  • DeRusha, Michelle. Katharina and Martin Luther: The Radical Marriage of a Runaway Nun and a Renegade Monk.
  • Gerstner, Edna. Jonathan and Sarah Edwards: An Uncommon Union. 
  • Lane, Rachel. Francis & Edith Schaeffer: Taking on the World (Trail blazers Series).
  • Lewis, C.S. A Grief Observed.
  • *Mack, Wayne A. and Carol. Sweethearts For a Lifetime.
  • Parkhurst, Louis Gifford. Francis & Edith Schaeffer.
  • Rhodes Jr., Ray. Yours, Till Heaven: The Untold Love Story of Charles and Susie Spurgeon.
  • *Shaeffer, Edith. The Tapestry: The Life and Times of Francis and Edith Schaeffer.
  • Welman, Sam. Francis & Edith Schaeffer.

LEARNING TO MEET ONE ANOTHER’S NEEDS

  • *Eggerichs, Emerson. Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs.
  • *Harley, Jr. Willard F. He Wins, She Wins: Learning The Art of Marital Negotiation; His Needs Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage; Love Busters: Protect Your Marriage by Replacing Love-Busting Patterns with Love-Building Habits.

MEN AND WOMEN: ENJOYING THE DIFFERENCES

  • Burke, H. Dale. Different by Design: God’s Master Plan For Harmony Between Men and Women in Marriage.
  • Crabb, Larry. Men and Women: Enjoying The Difference.
  • *Farrel, Bill and Pam. Men Are Like Waffles Women Are Like Spaghetti: Understanding and Delighting in Your Differences.
  • *Farrel, Bill and Pam. Why Men and Women Act The Way They Do.
  • Leman, Kevin. Have a New Husband by Friday: How to Change His Attitude, Behavior & Communication in 5 Days.
  • MacArthur, John. Divine Design: God’s Complementary Roles For Men and Women.
  • Peacock, Gavin & Strachan, Owen. The Grand Design: Male and Female He Made Them.
  • Smalley, Gary. For Better or for Best: A Valuable Guide to Knowing, Understanding, and Loving Your Husband.
  • Smalley, Gary. If Only He Knew: A Valuable Guide to Knowing, Understanding, and Loving Your Wife.
  • Strauch, Alexander. Men and Women: Equal Yet Different.
  • *Strachan, Owen and Jonathan Parnell. Designed for Joy: How the Gospel Impacts Men and Women, Identity and Practice.

COMMUNICATION 

  • Bechtle, Mike. How to Communicate with Confidence.
  • Brown, Steve. How to Talk So People Will Listen.
  • *Chapman, Gary. Now You’re Speaking My Language: Honest Communication and Deeper Intimacy for a Stronger Marriage.
  • *Eggerichs, Emerson. Cracking The Communication Code With Your Mate: The Secret of Speaking Your Mate’s Language.
  • Petersen, James C. Why Don’t We Listen Better?: Communicating & Connecting in Relationships
  • *Tripp, Paul David. War of Words: Getting to the Heart of Your Communication Struggles.
  • *Wright, H. Norman. Communication: Key to Your Marriage – The Secret To True Happiness.

CONFLICT

  • Chapman, Gary. Everybody Wins: The Chapman Guide to Solving Conflicts without Arguing (Chapman Guides).
  • Chapman, Gary. Home Improvements: The Chapman Guide to Negotiating Change with Your Spouse (Chapman Guides).
  • Chapman, Gary. The 5 Apology Languages: The Secret to Healthy Relationships.
  • *Chapman, Gary & Thomas, Jennifer. When Sorry Isn’t Enough: Making Things Right With Those You Love.
  • *Harvey, Dave. When Sinners Say “I Do”: The Power of the Gospel for Marriage.
  • *Hoppe, Steve. Marriage Conflict: Talking as Teammates (31-Day Devotionals for Life).
  • *Kendall, R.T. Total Forgiveness.
  • *Lutzer, Erwin W. When You Have Been Wronged: Moving From Bitterness To Forgiveness.
  • *Priolo, Lou. Resolving Conflict: How to Make, Disturb, and Keep Peace.
  • *Sande, Ken. The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict.
  • *Scott, Stuart. Communication and Conflict Resolution: A Biblical Perspective.
  • Smalley, Greg. Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage: How Healthy Conflict Can Take You to Deeper Levels of Intimacy.
  • Smalley, Greg. Reconnected: Moving from Roommates to Soulmates in Marriage.

COURTSHIP AFTER MARRIAGE

  • Begg, Alistair. Lasting Love: How To Avoid Marital Failure.
  • Buzzard, Justin. Date Your Wife: A Husband’s Guide.
  • Harley, Jr. Willard F. Fall In Love, Stay In Love.
  • *Mack, Wayne A. Sweethearts for a Lifetime: Making the Most of Your Marriage (Strength for Life).
  • *Smalley, Greg and Erin Smalley. Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage: 12 Secrets for a Lifelong Romance.
  • *Smalley, Gary. Making Love Last Forever.
  • *Smalley, Gary and Shawn Stoever. The Wholehearted Marriage: Fully Engaging Your Most Important Relationship.
  • *Ziglar, Zig. Courtship After Marriage: Romance Can Last A Lifetime.

DEVOTIONALS

  • Chapman, Gary. The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional: A 365-Day Devotional for Christian Couples.
  • Chapman, Gary. The Love as a Way of Life Devotional: A Ninety-Day Adventure That Makes Love a Daily Habit.
  • Dobson, James C. Night Light: A Devotional for Couples.
  • Harley, Willard F. and Joyce S. Joyce. Draw Close: A Devotional for Couples.
  • Keller, Timothy and Kathy Keller. The Meaning of Marriage: A Couple’s Devotional: A Year of Daily Devotions.
  • Kendrick, Stephen and Alex. The Love Dare Day by Day: A Year of Devotions for Couples.
  • Rainey, Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Moments Together for Couples: 365 Daily Devotions for Drawing Near to God & One Another.
  • Thomas, Gary. Devotions for a Sacred Marriage: A Year of Weekly Devotions for Couples.
  • *Wright, H. Norman. After You Say “I Do” Devotional: Meditations for Every Couple.

DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE

  • *Adams, Jay E. Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible: A Fresh Look at What Scripture Teaches.
  • *Grudem Wayne. What the Bible Says About Divorce and Remarriage. 
  • *Newheiser, Jim. Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage: Critical Questions and Answers.

FINANCES

  • *Alcorn, Randy. Managing God’s Money: A Biblical Guide.
  • *Alcorn, Randy. Money, Possessions, and Eternity: A Comprehensive Guide to What the Bible Says about Financial Stewardship, Generosity, Materialism, Retirement, Financial Planning, Gambling, Debt, and More.
  • *Alcorn, Randy. The Law of Rewards: Giving what you can’t keep to gain what you can’t lose.
  • *Alcorn, Randy. The Treasure Principle, Revised and Updated: Unlocking the Secret of Joyful Giving.
  • Blue, Ron. Master Your Money: A Step-By-Step Plan For Experiencing Contentment. 
  • Blue, Ron & Burkett, Larry. Your Money After The Big 5-0. Wealth For The Second Half of Life.
  • *Dayton, Howard. Marriage and Money God’s Way.
  • *Dayton, Howard. Your Money Counts: The Biblical Guide to Earning, Spending, Saving, Investing, Giving, and Getting Out of Debt
  • Keller, Timothy. Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope that Matters.
  • *Lowe, Cherie. Slaying the Debt Dragon: How One Family Conquered Their Money Monster and Found an Inspired Happily Ever After.
  • MacArthur, John. Whose Money Is It Anyway?
  • Ramsey, Dave. Financial Peace Revisited; The Complete Guide to Money; The Money Answer Book; The Total Money Makeover; The Financial Peace Planner: A Step-by-Step Guide to Restoring Your Family’s Financial Health.
  • Tripp, Paul David. Sex and Money: Pleasures That Leave You Empty and Grace That Satisfies. 
  • *Wood, William C. Getting a Grip on Your Money: A Plain & Simple Christian Guide to Managing Personal Finances, Eliminating Debt, Spending, Saving & Giving, Investing for the Future.
  • Yates, Cynthia. Living Well On One Income: In a Two-Income World. 

LOVE LANGUAGES

  • *Chapman, Gary. The Five Love Languages: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.
  • *Eggerichs, Emerson. The Language of Love and Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate.
  • Rosberg, Gary and Barbara Rosberg. 6 Secrets to a Lasting Love: Recapturing Your Dream Marriage.
  • Rosberg, Gary and Barbara Rosberg. The 5 Love Needs of Men & Women.
  • *Smalley, Gary & Trent, John. The Language of Love: The Secret To Being Instantly Understood. 
  • *Trent, John and Gary Smalley. The Two Sides of Love: The Secret to Valuing Differences.

MEN AND WOMEN IN MINISTRY

  • *DeYoung, Kevin. Men and Women in the Church: A Short, Biblical, Practical Introduction.
  • Gilbert, Greg. Can Women Be Pastors?
  • *Grudem, Wayne, ed. Biblical Foundations for Manhood and Womanhood.
  • *Kostenberger, Margaret E. God’s Design for Man and Woman. A Biblical-Theological Survey.
  • *Kostenberger, Andreas J. and Thomas R. Schreiner, et al. Women in the Church: An Interpretation and Application of 1 Timothy 2:9-15.
  • *Piper, John and Grudem, Wayne. 50 Crucial Questions: An Overview of Central Concerns about Manhood and Womanhood.
  • *Piper, John and Grudem, Wayne editors. Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood: A Response To Evangelical Feminism.
  • Saucy, Robert, and Judith TenElshof. Women and Men in Ministry: A Complementary Perspective.

PERSONALITY DIFFERENCES

  • *Biehl, Bobb. Why You Do What You Do.
  • *LaHaye, Tim. Spirit-Controlled Temperament.
  • *LaHaye, Tim. Why You Act The Way You Do.
  • *Leman, Kevin. The Birth Order Book: Why You Are The Way You Are.
  • *Littauer, Florence. Personality Plus.
  • *Littauer, Florence. Personality Plus At Work.
  • *Littauer, Florence. Personality Plus For Couples: Understanding Yourself and the One You Love
  • *Littauer, Florence. Wired That Way: A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding and Maximizing Your Personality Type.
  • Smalley, Gary and Robert S. Paul. The DNA of Relationships for Couples.

SEXUAL INTIMACY: BECOMING ONE

  • Ash, Christopher. How Should Christians Think about Sex? (Questions for Restless Minds).
  • *Ash, Christopher. Marriage: Sex in the Service of God.
  • Cutrer, William & Glahn, Sandra. Sexual Intimacy In Marriage.
  • Dobson, James. Head Over Heels: How To Fall In Love and Land On Your Feet.
  • Harley, Jr. Willard F. Five Steps To Romantic Love: A Workbook for Readers of Love Busters and His Needs, Her Needs.
  • Howes, Ryan, Rupp, Richard, Simpson, Stephen W. What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Sex: A Guide For Christian Men.
  • LaHaye, Tim & Beverly. The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love.
  • Leman, Kevin. Sex Begins In the Kitchen; Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage.
  • McBurney, Louis & Melissa. Real Questions, Real Answers About Sex.
  • McCluskey, Christopher & Rachel. When Two Become One: Enhancing Sexual Intimacy In Marriage.
  • Rosberg, Gary and Barbara Rosberg. The 5 Sex Needs of Men & Women.
  • *Wheat, Ed & Gaye. Intended For Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage.

IF YOUR MARRIAGE IS IN SERIOUS TROUBLE

  • *Chapman, Gary. Hope For The Separated: Wounded Marriages Can Be Healed.
  • *Chapman, Gary. Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away: Real Help for Desperate Hearts in Difficult Marriages.
  • *Chapman, Gary. One More Try: What to Do When Your Marriage Is Falling Apart.
  • *Clarke, David E. Enough is Enough: A Step-by-Step Plan to Leave an Abusive Relationship with God’s Help.
  • *Clarke, David E. and William G. Clarke. Honey, We Need To Talk: Get Honest And Intimate In 10 Essential Areas.
  • *Clarke, David E. Married But Lonely. 
  • *Clarke, David E. and William G. Clarke. What Happened To Happily Ever After?
  • *Clarke, David E. What To Do When Your Spouse Says, “I Don’t Love You Anymore”: An Action Plan To Regain Confidence, Power and Control.
  • *Dobson, James. Love Must Be Tough: New Hope For Marriages In Crisis.
  • Gambola, Michael Scott. After an Affair: Pursuing Restoration.
  • *Harley, Jr. Willard H. & Chalmers, Jennifer Harley. Surviving An Affair.
  • Jones, Robert D. Restoring Your Broken Marriage: Healing After Adultery.
  • *Kruger, Mellissa and Michael Kruger. 5 Things to Pray for Your Spouse: Prayers That Change and Strengthen Your Marriage.
  • Smith, Winston T. Help! My Spouse Committed Adultery: First Steps for Dealing with Betrayal.
  • *Strobel, Lee & Leslie. Surviving A Spiritual Mismatch In Marriage.
  • *Summers, Mike. Help! My Spouse Has Been Unfaithful.

Web Resources For Marriage

www.5lovelanguages.com(Gary Chapman Resources for Marriage)

www.crown.org/(Founded by Larry Burkett – Excellent Financial Resources)

www.daveramsey.com/ (Resources for Dave Ramsey on Finances)

www.familylife.com (A Cru Ministry with Resources for Marriage and Parenting)

www.focusonthefamily.com (Founded by James Dobson – Marriage and Parenting)

www.loveandrespect.com (The Ministry of Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs)

www.marriagebuilders.com/(Ministry Resources of Dr. Willard F. Harley)

www.PaulTripp.com (Resources for Marriage and Parenting from Paul David Tripp)

www.smalleyinstitute.com (Resources from Gary and Greg Smalley on Marriage)

Biblical Manhood

  • Briscoe, Stuart. The One Year Devotions for Men with Stuart Briscoe.
  • Challies, Tim. Sexual Detox: A Guide for Guys Who Are Sick of Porn.
  • Challies, Tim. Run to Win: The Lifelong Pursuits of a Godly Man.
  • Chapman, Gary. The 5 Love Languages for Men: Tools for Making a Good Relationship Great.
  • Coekin, Richard. Men of God.
  • Crabb, Larry. Men of Courage: God’s Call to Move Beyond the Silence of Adam.
  • Doriani, Daniel M. The New Man: Becoming a Man After God’s Heart.
  • Evans, Tony. No More Excuses: Be the Man God Made You to Be.
  • Farrar, Steve. Tempered Steel: How God Shapes a Man’s Heart through Adversity.
  • *Foster, Michael. It’s Good To Be A Man: A Handbook for Godly Masculinity.
  • *Getz, Gene. The Measure of a Man: Twenty Attributes of a Godly Man.
  • Hanson, Brant. The Men We Need: God’s Purpose for the Manly Man, the Avid Indoorsman, or Any Man Willing to Show Up.
  • *Hughes, R. Kent. Disciplines of a Godly Man.
  • *Lambert, Heath. Finally Free (pornography).
  • MacDonald, Gordon. Ordering Your Private World.
  • Metaxas, Eric. Seven Men: And the Secret of Their Greatness.
  • Metaxas, Eric. Seven More Men: And the Secret of Their Greatness.
  • *Morely, Patrick. How God Makes Men: Ten Epic Stories. Ten Proven Principles. One Huge Promise for Your Life.
  • *Morely, Patrick. The Man in the Mirror: Solving the 24 Problems Men Face.
  • *Ortlund, Ray. The Death of Porn: Men of Integrity Building a World of Nobility.
  • *Phillips, Richard D. The Masculine Mandate: God’s Calling to Men.
  • Rainey, Dennis. Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood.
  • Scott, Stuart. Biblical Manhood: Masculinity, Leadership and Decision.
  • *Smalley, Gary, Greg Salley, and Michael Smalley. Men’s Relational Toolbox.
  • Smith, Rhett. What it Means to be a Man: God’s Design for Us in a World Full of Extremes.
  • *Storms, Sam. Daily Strength: A Devotional for Men.
  • *Weber, Stu. Tender Warrior: Every Man’s Purpose, Every Woman’s Dream, Every Child’s Hope.
  • Wolgemuth, Robert. Lies Men Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free.

Being a Good Dad

  • *Beeke, Joel. How Should Men Lead Their Families?
  • Chandler, Matt and Adam Griffin. Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home Through Time, Moments, and Milestones.
  • *Farrar, Steve. Anchor Man: How a Father Can Anchor His Family in Christ for the Next 100 Years.
  • *Farrar, Steve. King Me: King Me: What Every Son Wants and Needs From His Father.
  • *Farrar, Steve. Point Man: How A Man Can Lead His Family.
  • *Farrar, Steve. Battle Ready: Prepare to Be Used by God.
  • *Farrar, Steve. God Built: Forged by God … in the Bad and Good of Life.
  • *Farrar, Steve. Real Valor: A Charge to Nurture and Protect Your Family.
  • *Farrar, Steve. Standing Tall: How a Man Can Protect His Family.
  • Fuller, John. First Time Dad: The Stuff You Really Need to Know.
  • Leman, Kevin. Be the Dad She Needs You to Be: The Indelible Imprint a Father Leaves on His Daughter’s Life.
  • *Lewis, Robert. Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father’s Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood.
  • Michael, David. A Father’s Guide to Blessing His Children (Family Discipleship).
  • *Smalley, Gary and John Trent. The Blessing.
  • Tyson, Jon. The Intentional Father: A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage and Character.

Being a Good Husband

  • *Buzzard, Justin. Date Your Wife.
  • *Dobson, James. What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women.
  • *Eggerichs, Emerson. The Love & Respect Experience: A Husband-Friendly Devotional That Wives Truly Love.
  • *Evans, Tony. For Married Men Only: Three Principles for Loving Your Wife.
  • Howes, Ryan, Rupp, Richard, Simpson, Stephen W. What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Sex: A Guide For Christian Men.
  • *Kruger, Michael and Melissa Kruger. 5 Things to Pray for Your Spouse: Prayers That Change and Strengthen Your Marriage.
  • Mahaney, C.J. & Carol. Sex, Romance, And The Glory of God: What Every Christian Husband Needs To Know.
  • *Priolo, Lou. The Complete Husband: A Practical Guide for Improved Husbanding.
  • *Scott, Stuart. The Exemplary Husband: A Biblical Perspective.
  • *Smalley, Gary. If Only He Knew: A Valuable Guide to Knowing, Understanding, and Loving Your Wife.
  • *Smalley, Gary. Winning Your Wife Back Before It’s Too Late.
  • Weathers, Mark A. How to Pray for Your Wife: A 31-Day Guide.

Mid-Life Helps

  • Arterburn, Stephen. 6 Ways for Men to Thrive in Midlife.
  • Arterburn, Stephen. Midlife Manual for Men: Finding Significance in the Second Half.
  • *Buford, Bob. Finishing Well: The Adventure of Life Beyond Halftime.
  • *Buford, Bob. Halftime: Moving from Success to Significance.
  • Chester, Tim. You Can Change: God’s Transforming Power for Our Sinful Behavior and Negative Emotions.
  • Dunlop, John, MD. Finishing Well to the Glory of God: Strategies from a Christian Physician.
  • MacDonald, Gordon. Mid-Course Correction: Re-Ordering Your Private World for the Second Half of Life.
  • Peppin, Bruce. The Best Is Yet to Be: Moving Mountains in Midlife.
  • *Swenson MD, Richard. Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives.
  • *Tripp, Paul David. Lost in the Middle: MidLife and the Grace of God: Mid-Life Crisis and the Grace of God.
  • Wright, H. Norman. What’s Next?: Navigating Transitions to Make the Rest of Your Life Count.
  • Ziglar, Zig. Better Than Good: Creating a Life You Can’t Wait to Live.

Biblical Womanhood

  • *Dodds, Abigail. (A)Typical Woman: Free, Whole, and Called in Christ.
  • *Elliott, Elisabeth. Let Me Be A Woman.
  • *Elliott, Elisabeth. Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ’s Control.
  • Furman, Gloria and Kathleen B. Nielsen. Word-Filled Women’s Ministry: Loving and Serving the Church.
  • *Haykin, Michael A. G. Eight Women of Faith.
  • *Hughes, Barbara. Disciplines of a Godly Woman.
  • *Hunt, Susan. By Design: God’s Distinctive Calling for Women.
  • *Hunt, Susan. The True Woman: The Beauty and Strength of a Godly Woman.
  • *Hunt, Susan. The Legacy of Biblical Womanhood.
  • *Hunt, Susan. Women’s Ministry in the Local Church.
  • *Kassian, Mary A. The Feminist Mistake: The Radical Impact of Feminism on Church and Culture.
  • *Kassian, Mary A. The Right Kind of Confident: The Remarkable Grit of a God-Fearing Woman.
  • *Kassian, Mary A. The Right Kind of Strong: Surprisingly Simple Habits of a Spiritually Strong Woman.
  • *Kruger, Melissa. 12 Faithful Women: Portraits of Steadfast Endurance.
  • *Kruger, Melissa. Growing Together: Taking Mentoring beyond Small Talk and Prayer Requests.
  • *Kruger, Melissa. Identity Theft: Reclaiming the Truth of our Identity in Christ.
  • Nielson, Kathleen. Women and God: Hard Questions, Beautiful Truth.
  • McLaughlin, Rebecca. Jesus though the Eyes of Women: How the First Female Disciples Help Us Know and Love the Lord.
  • Metaxas, Eric. Seven Women: And the Secret of Their Greatness.
  • Ortlund, Anne. Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman.
  • Ortlund, Jani. Fearlessly Feminine: Boldly Living God’s Plan for Womanhood.
  • *Peace, Martha. Becoming a Titus 2 Woman.
  • *Saffles, Gretchen. The Well-Watered Woman: Rooted in Truth, Growing in Grace, Flourishing in Faith.
  • *Scazzero, Geri. The Emotionally Healthy Woman: Eight Things You Have to Quit to Change Your Life.
  • *Wolgemuth, Nancy DeMoss. Adorned: Living Out the Beauty of the Gospel Together.
  • *Wolgemuth, Nancy DeMoss. Biblical Portrait of Womanhood: Discovering and Living Out God’s Plan for our Lives.
  • *Wolgemuth, Nancy DeMoss. Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free.

Being a Good Mom

  • *Eggerichs, Emerson. Mother and Son: The Respect Effect.
  • *Engelsma, Esther. How Can I Feel Productive as a Mom?
  • *Ferrer, Hillary Morgan. Mama Bear Apologetics: Empowering Your Kids to Challenge Cultural Lies.
  • *Ferrer, Hillary Morgan. Mama Bear Apologetics: Guide to Sexuality: Empowering Your Kids to Understand and Live Out God’s Design.
  • Furman, Gloria. Labor with Hope: Gospel Meditations on Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood.
  • *Furman, Gloria. Missional Motherhood: The Everyday Ministry of Motherhood in the Grand Plan of God (The Gospel Coalition).
  • Furman, Gloria. Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full: Gospel Meditations for Busy Moms.
  • Gresh, Dannah. A Mom’s Guide to Lies Girls Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free (Lies We Believe).
  • Halberstadt, Abbie. M Is for Mama: A Rebellion Against Mediocre Motherhood.
  • *Hunt, Susan. Spiritual Mothering: The Titus 2 Model for Women Mentoring Women.
  • Jensen, Emily and Laura Wifler. Risen Motherhood: Gospel Hope for Everyday Moments.
  • Leman, Kevin. What a Difference a Mom Makes: The Indelible Imprint a Mom Leaves on Her Son’s Life.
  • Wann, Liz. The End of Me: Finding Resurrection Life in the Daily Sacrifices of Motherhood.

Being a Good Wife

  • *Evans, Tony. For Married Women Only: Three Principles for Honoring Your Husband.
  • *Kruger, Michael and Melissa Kruger. 5 Things to Pray for Your Spouse: Prayers That Change and Strengthen Your Marriage.
  • Leman, Kevin. Have a New Husband by Friday: How to Change His Attitude, Behavior & Communication in 5 Days.
  • *Peace, Martha. The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective.
  • *Smalley, Erin. *10 Things a Husband Needs from His Wife: Everyday Ways to Show Him Love.
  • *Smalley, Erin, Greg, and Gary. The Wholehearted Wife: 10 Keys to a More Loving Relationship.
  • *Smalley, Gary. For Better or Best: A Valuable Guide to Knowing, Understanding, and Loving Your Husband.
  • *Smalley, Gary. Winning Your Husband Back Before It’s Too Late.
  • Thomas, Gary L. Loving Him Well: Practical Advice On Influencing Your Husband.

Vocation and Calling

  • Chapman, Gary. The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People.
  • Challies, Tim. Do More Better: A Practical Guide to Productivity.
  • Doriani, Daniel M. Work: Its Purpose, Dignity, and Transformation.
  • Doriani, Daniel M. Work That Makes a Difference.
  • *Grudem, Wayne. Business for the Glory of God: The Bible’s Teaching on the Moral Goodness of Business.
  • Guinness, Os. The Call: Finding and Fulfilling God’s Purpose for Your Life.
  • *Hamilton, James M. Work and Our Labor in the Lord. 
  • Kaemingk, Matthew and Cory B. Willson. Work and Worship: Reconnecting Our Labor and Liturgy.
  • *Keller, Timothy. Every Good Endeavor: Connecting Your Work to God’s Work.
  • *Littauer, Florence. Personality Plus At Work.
  • *Nelson, Tom. Work Matters: Connecting Sunday Worship to Monday Work.
  • O’Donnell, Michaela. Make Work Matter: Your Guide to Meaningful Work in a Changing World.
  • Perman, Matt. What’s Best Next: How the Gospel Transforms the Way You Get Things Done.
  • Rodin, R. Scott. Stewards in the Kingdom: A Theology of Life in All Its Fullness.
  • Smith, Gordon T. Consider Your Calling: Six Questions for Discerning Your Vocation.
  • Stevens, R. Paul and Tom Force. Aging Matters: Finding Your Calling for the Rest of Your Life.
  • Stevens, R. Paul. Doing God’s Business: Meaning and Motivation for the Marketplace.
  • Stevens, R. Paul. The Other Six Days: Vocation, Work, and Ministry in Biblical Perspective.
  • Stevens, R. Paul. Taking Your Soul to Work: Overcoming the Nine Deadly Sins of the Workplace.
  • Stevens, R. Paul. Work Matters: Lessons from Scripture.
  • Palmer, Parker J. Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation.
  • Pennings, Ray. How Can I Serve God at Work?
  • *Veith, Gene Edward Jr. God at Work: Your Christian Vocation in All of Life.

Relational Help

  • Brauns, Chris. Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers for Complex Questions and Deep Wounds.
  • Chapman, Gary. Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion.
  • Clinton, Tim and Gary Sibcy. Why You Do the Things You Do: The Secret to Healthy Relationships.
  • Cloud, Henry and John Townsend. Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to say NO To Take Control of Your Life.
  • Crabb, Larry. Connecting: Healing Ourselves and Our Relationships.
  • Crabb, Larry. Understanding People: Why We Long for Relationship.
  • Crabtree, Sam. Practicing Affirmation: God-Centered Praise of Those Who Are Not God.
  • Crabtree, Sam. Practicing Thankfulness: Cultivating a Grateful Heart in All Circumstances.
  • Dykas, Ellen Mary. Toxic Relationships: Taking Refuge in Christ (31-Day Devotionals for Life).
  • Gifford, Greg. Heart & Habits: How We Change for Good.
  • Ingram, Chip and Becca Johnson. Overcoming Emotions that Destroy: Practical Help for Those Angry Feelings That Ruin Relationships.
  • Jones, Robert D. Pursuing Peace: A Christian Guide to Handling Our Conflicts.
  • *Kendall, R.T. Controlling the Tongue: Mastering the What, When, and Why of the Words You Speak.
  • *Kendall, R.T. Total Forgiveness.
  • Kassian, Mary. Conversation Peace: Improving Your Relationships One Word at a Time.
  • Lane, Timothy S., and Paul David Tripp. How People Change.
  • Lane, Timothy S., and Paul David Tripp. Relationships: A Mess Worth Making.
  • Lane, Timothy S. Unstuck: A Nine-Step Journey To Change That Lasts.
  • Lutzer, Erwin. When You’ve Been Wronged: Moving From Bitterness to Forgiveness.
  • Marshall, Cheryl and Caroline Newheiser. When Words Matter Most: Speaking Truth with Grace to Those You Love.
  • Maxwell, John. Be A People Person: Effective Leadership Through Effective Relationships.
  • Miller, Paul E. A Loving Life: In a World of Broken Relationships.
  • *Powlison, David. Good and Angry: Redeeming Anger, Irritation, Complaining, and Bitterness.
  • Priolo, Lou. Bitterness: The Root That Pollutes (Resources for Biblical Living).
  • *Priolo, Lou. Pleasing People: How not to be an “approval junkie.”
  • Rainer, Thom S. and Art Rainer. Simple Life: Time, Relationships, Money, God.
  • Robinson, Jeff. Taming the Tongue: How The Gospel Transforms Our Talk.
  • Satrom, Hayley. Forgiveness: Reflecting God’s Mercy (31-Day Devotionals for Life).
  • *Sande, Ken and Kevin Johnson. Resolving Everyday Conflict
  • *Scazzero, Peter. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: It’s Impossible to Be Spiritually Mature, While Remaining Emotionally Immature.
  • Smalley, Gary. The DNA of Relationships: Discover How You Are Designed for Satisfying Relationships.
  • Smith, William P. How To Love Difficult People: Receiving and Sharing God’s Mercy.
  • Townsend, John. Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships.
  • Tripp, Paul David. Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands: People in Need of Change Helping People in Need of Change.
  • Viars, Stephen. Overcoming Bitterness: Moving from Life’s Greatest Hurts to a Life Filled with Joy.
  • Viars, Stephen. Putting Your Past in Its Place: Moving Forward in Freedom and Forgiveness.
  • *Welch, Edward T. Blame It On The Brain: Distinguishing Chemical Imbalances, Brain Disorders, and Disobedience.
  • *Welch, Edward T. Caring for One Another: 8 Ways to Cultivate Meaningful Relationships.
  • *Welch, Edward T. A Small Book about a Big Problem: Meditations on Anger, Patience, and Peace.
  • *Welch, Edward T. A Small Book about Why We Hide: How Jesus Rescues Us from Insecurity, Regret, Failure, and Shame.
  • *Welch, Edward T. Side by Side: Walking with Others in Wisdom and Love.
  • *Welch, Edward T. When People Are Big and God is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man (Resources for Changing Lives).
  • Whitman, Lauren. A Painful Past: Healing and Moving Forward (31-Day Devotionals for Life).
  • Wytsma, Ken. Redeeming How We Talk: Discover How Communication Fuels Our Growth, Shapes Our Relationships, and Changes Our Lives.

Families

  • Anthony, Michael and Michelle Anthony. A Theology for Family Ministry.
  • Anthony, Michelle. Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family: Avoiding the 6 Dysfunctional Parenting Styles. 
  • *Beeke, Joel. How Should Men Lead Their Families?
  • Chandler, Matt and Adam Griffin. Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home Through Time, Moments, and Milestones.
  • Chapman, Gary and Shannon Warden. The DIY Guide to Building a Family that Lasts: 12 Tools for Improving Your Home Life.
  • Chapman, Gary. The Family You’ve Always Wanted: Five Ways You Can Make It Happen.
  • Chester Tim. Gospel-Centered Family.
  • Earley, Justin Whitmel. Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms.
  • *Eggerichs, Emerson. Love and Respect in the Family: The Respect Parents Desire; The Love Children Need.
  • Elliot, Elisabeth. The Shaping of a Christian Family: How My Parents Nurtured My Faith.
  • Hughes, Kent and Barbara. Disciplines of a Godly Family.
  • Jones, Timothy Paul. Family Ministry Field Guide: How Your Church Can Equip Parents to Make Disciples.
  • Jones, Timothy Paul, ed. Perspectives on Family Ministry: Three Views.
  • *Kostenberger, Andreas J. God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation.
  • Kimmel, Tim. Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree.
  • Leman, Kevin. Have a Happy Family by Friday: How to Improve Communication, Respect & Teamwork in 5 Days.
  • *Lewis, Robert. Real Family Values: Leading Your Family into the 21st Century with Clarity and Conviction.
  • *Newman, Randy. Bringing the Gospel Home: Witnessing to Family Members, Close Friends, and Others Who Know You Well.
  • Powell, Kara and Steven Argue. Growing With: Every Parent’s Guide to Helping Teenagers and Young Adults Thrive in Their Faith, Family, and Future.
  • Powell, Kara. The Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family: Over 100 Practical and Tested Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Kids.
  • *Sande, Ken. Peacemaking for Families: A Biblical Guide to Managing Conflict in Your Home.
  • *Schaeffer, Edith. What is a Family?
  • *Smalley, Gary and John Trent. The Blessing: Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance.
  • Whitney, Donald S. Family Worship: In the Bible, In History, and In Your Home.

5 Questions For Christians Who Believe The Bible Supports Gay Marriage

By Kevin DeYoung

symbolSo you’ve become convinced that the Bible supports gay marriage. You’ve studied the issue, read some books, looked at the relevant Bible passages and concluded that Scripture does not prohibit same-sex intercourse so long as it takes place in the context of a loving, monogamous, lifelong covenanted relationship. You still love Jesus. You still believe the Bible. In fact, you would argue that it’s because you love Jesus and because you believe the Bible that you now embrace gay marriage as a God-sanctioned good.

As far as you are concerned, you haven’t rejected your evangelical faith. You haven’t turned your back on God. You haven’t become a moral relativist. You’ve never suggested anything goes when it comes to sexual behavior. In most things, you tend to be quite conservative. You affirm the family, and you believe in the permanence of marriage. But now you’ve simply come to the conclusion that two men or two women should be able to enter into the institution of marriage–both as a legal right and as a biblically faithful expression of one’s sexuality.

Setting aside the issue of biblical interpretation for the moment, let me ask five questions.

1. On what basis do you still insist that marriage must be monogamous?

Presumably, you do not see any normative significance in God creating the first human pair male and female (Gen. 2:23-25; Matt. 19:4-6). Paul’s language about each man having his own wife and each woman her own husband cannot be taken too literally without falling back into the exclusivity of heterosexual marriage (1 Cor. 7:2). The two coming together as one so they might produce godly offspring doesn’t work with gay marriage either (Mal. 2:15). So why monogamy? Jesus never spoke explicitly against polygamy. The New Testament writers only knew of exploitative polygamy, the kind tied to conquest, greed, and subjugation. If they had known of voluntary, committed, loving polyamorous relationships, who’s to think they wouldn’t have approved?

These aren’t merely rhetorical questions. The issue is legitimate: if 3 or 13 or 30 people really love each other, why shouldn’t they have a right to be married? And for that matter, why not a brother and a sister, or two sisters, or a mother and son, or father and son, or any other combination of two or more persons who love each other. Once we’ve accepted the logic that for love to be validated it must be expressed sexually and that those engaged in consensual sexual activity cannot be denied the “right” of marriage, we have opened a Pandora’s box of marital permutations that cannot be shut.

2. Will you maintain the same biblical sexual ethic in the church now that you think the church should solemnize gay marriages?

After assailing the conservative church for ignoring the issue of divorce, will you exercise church discipline when gay marriages fall apart? Will you preach abstinence before marriage for all single persons, no matter their orientation? If nothing has really changed except that you now understand the Bible to be approving of same-sex intercourse in committed lifelong relationships,we should expect loud voices in the near future denouncing the infidelity rampant in homosexual relationships. Surely, those who support gay marriage out of “evangelical” principles, will be quick to find fault with the notion that the male-male marriages most likely to survive are those with a flexible understanding that other partners may come and go. According to one study researched and written by two homosexual authors, of 156 homosexual couples studied, only seven had maintained sexual fidelity, and of the hundred that had been together for more than five years, none had remained faithful (cited by Satinover, 55). In the rush to support committed, lifelong, monogamous same-sex relationships, it’s worth asking whether those supporters–especially the Christians among them–will, in fact, insist on a lifelong, monogamous commitment.

3. Are you prepared to say moms and dads are interchangeable?

It is a safe assumption that those in favor of gay marriage are likely to support gay and lesbian couples adopting children or giving birth to children through artificial insemination. What is sanctioned, therefore, is a family unit where children grow up de facto without one birth parent. This means not simply that some children, through the unfortunate circumstances of life, may grow up with a mom and dad, but that the church will positively bless and encourage the family type that will deprive children of either a mother or a father. So are mothers indispensable? Is another dad the same as a mom? No matter how many decent, capable homosexual couples we may know, are we confident that as a general rule there is nothing significant to be gained by growing up with a mother and a father?

4. What will you say about anal intercourse?

The answer is probably “nothing.” But if you feel strongly about the dangers of tobacco or fuss over the negative affects of carbs, cholesterol, gmo’s, sugar, gluten, trans fats, and hydrogenated soybean oil may have on your health, how can you not speak out about the serious risks associated with male-male intercourse. How is it loving to celebrate what we know to be a singularly unhealthy lifestyle? According to the Journal of the American Medical Association, the risk of anal cancer increases 4000 percent among those who engage in anal intercourse. Anal sex increases the risk of a long list of health problems, including “rectal prolapse, perforation that can go septic, chlamydia, cyrptosporidosis, giardiasis, genital herpes, genital warts, isosporiasis, microsporidiosis, gonorrhea, viral hepatitis B and C, and syphilis” (quoted in Reilly, 55). And this is to say nothing of the higher rates of HIV and other health concerns with disproportionate affects on the homosexual community.

5. How have all Christians at all times and in all places interpreted the Bible so wrongly for so long?

Christians misread their Bibles all the time. The church must always be reformed according to the word of God. Sometimes biblical truth rests with a small minority. Sometimes the truth is buried in relative obscurity for generations. But when we must believe that the Bible has been misunderstood by virtually every Christian in every part of the world for the last two thousand years, it ought to give us pause. From the Jewish world in the Old and New Testaments to the early church to the Middle Ages to the Reformation and into the 20th century, the church has understood the Bible to teach that engaging in homosexuality activity was among the worst sins a person could commit. As the late Louis Crompton, a gay man and pioneer in queer studies, explained:

Some interpreters, seeking to mitigate Paul’s harshness, have read the passage [in Romans 1] as condemning not homosexuals generally but only heterosexual men and women who experimented with homosexuality. According to this interpretation, Paul’s words were not directed at “bona fide” homosexuals in committed relationships. But such a reading, however well-intentioned, seems strained and unhistorical. Nowhere does Paul or any other Jewish writer of this period imply the least acceptance of same-sex relations under any circumstances. The idea that homosexuals might be redeemed by mutual devotion would have been wholly foreign to Paul or any Jew or early Christian. (Homosexuality and Civilization, 114).

The church has been of one mind on this issue for nearly two millennia. Are you prepared to jeopardize the catholicity of the church and convince yourself that everyone misunderstood the Bible until the 1960s? On such a critical matter, it’s important we think through the implications of our position, especially if it means consigning to the bin of bigotry almost every Christian who has ever lived.

Source: http://www.thegospelcoalition.org (June 17, 2014)

BOOK REVIEW: DENNY BURK’S “WHAT IS THE MEANING OF SEX?”

GOD’S INTENTION FOR SEX

WITMOS BURK

Book Review By David P. Craig

Denny Burk has written both a brilliant critique of errant sexual views and presented a cogent case for the biblical meaning of sex that transcends all cultures and time. Burk’s thesis developed in this book is that sex is a gift from God that is to be enjoyed exclusively within the covenant of marriage so that it might magnify God’s own covenant love for his people and thus bring glory to Him. The glory of God [all of who God is put on display] is the ultimate purpose of everything a Christian does – including sex.

There have been many books written by Christians in the past several years but they usually fall short in applying a teleological view of sex. In other words they address what the Bible has to say about sex, but not necessarily what the purpose of sex is. Burk writes: “What they [with reference to Mark Driscoll’s recent book on sex and marriage – but can be applied to various other authors] never asked, however, is the teleological question: Does this act fulfill God’s purposes for the sexual union? Does this act fulfill Gd’s ultimate purpose for marriage and sexuality–the glory of God? This is where teleology can help us.”

Burk proceeds to write a biblical theology of sex with a God-centered ethical foundation based on virtually everything the Bible has to say about our bodies, our interpretation of the relevant passages pertaining to sex, our marriages, conjugal unions, family planning, gender, sexuality and singleness. In all these areas Burk does a remarkable job of what he describes as blending biblical theology, ethics, and cultural issues pertaining to sex. He writes, “I am favoring a bleded approach that gives a privileged place to teleology within the framework of divine revelation. Scripture is plainly concerned with the formation of moral character as the basis for moral choices (as in character ethics). Scripture is also concerned with rules and divine commands (as in deontology). But Scripture also focuses on the glory of God as the purpose of all things (as in teleology).”

Therefore, Burk argues that the four aspects of sex as defined by God in the context of marriage as a covenant between and man and a woman are designed for (1) the consummation of marriage, (2) procreation, (3) expression of love, and (4) pleasure. However, these four purposes “comprise the means by which we glorify God with our sexuality.” Burk unfolds his thesis methodically, clearly, and with great theological depth that “the ultimate purpose of human sexuality is the glory of God and that the ultimate ethic is to glorify God with our sexuality.” I can’t possibly recommend this book high enough for both Christians and non-Christians to come to grips with the reason, meaning, and purpose for one’s gender, identity, sex, and marriage according to God’s great design.

*I was provided with a copy of this book for review by the publisher and was not required to write a fovorable review.

Dr. John PIper on God’s Design for Marriage: 4 Biblical Realities

4 Reasons Why Marriage Is God’s Doing – by Jonathan Parnell

(Summarizing John Piper)

The most foundational thing we can say about marriage is that it is God’s doing. John Piper explains, “A glimpse into the magnificence of marriage comes from seeing in God’s word that God himself is the great doer. Marriage is his doing. It is from him and through him” (24).

In his book This Momentary Marriage, Pastor John Piper gives four reasons why marriage is God’s doing:

First, marriage was God’s design.

While Genesis 1:27–28 makes clear that marriage is meant for male and female, the logic of Genesis 2 also confirms it.

In [Genesis 2:18], it is God himself who decrees that man’s solitude is not good, and it is God himself who sets out to complete one of the central designs of creation, namely, man and woman in marriage. “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.“ Don’t miss that central and all-important statement: God himself will make a being perfectly suited for him — a wife. (p. 21)

Second, God gave away the first bride.

God took the role as the first Father to give away the bride. “Genesis 2:22: ‘And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.’ He didn’t hide her and make Adam seek. He made her; then he brought her.” (p. 22)

Third, God spoke the design of marriage into existence.

We can see this if we look carefully at Matthew 19:4–5: “[Jesus] answered, ‘Have you not read that he [God] who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said [Note: God said!], “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”‘?” Jesus said that the words of Genesis 2:24 are God’s words, even though they were written by Moses. (p. 22)

Fourth, God performs the one-flesh union.

The one-flesh union between a man and woman is the heart of what marriage is.

Genesis 2:24 is God’s word of institution for marriage. But just as it was God who took the woman from the flesh of man (Genesis 2:21), it is God who in each marriage ordains and performs a uniting called one flesh. Man does not create this. God does. And it is not in man’s power to destroy. This is implicit here in Genesis 2:24, but Jesus makes it explicit in Mark 10:8–9. He quotes Genesis 2:24, then adds a comment that explodes like thunder with the glory of marriage. “‘The two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

When a couple speaks their vows, it is not a man or a woman or a pastor or parent who is the main actor — the main doer. God is. God joins a husband and a wife into a one-flesh union. God does that. The world does not know this. Which is one of the reasons why marriage is treated so casually. And Christians often act like they don’t know it, which is one of the reasons marriage in the church is not seen as the wonder it is. Marriage is God’s doing because it is a one-flesh union that God himself performs. (p. 23)

Article adapted from: http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/four-reasons-why-marriage-is-gods-doing posted on May 21, 2012.

Book Review: Real Marriage by Mark and Grace Driscoll

As Real and Raw As It Gets: Review By Dr. David P. Craig

At the outset, there is no doubt about it; this book is going to be controversial. However, before I spend the rest of this review focused on the controversy that will ensue, I think that there is a ton of good advice, encouragement, and — take it from a pastor that’s been married for twenty years with five kids myself (ironically like Mark) – they make marriage as real as it gets, the ups and downs, the agonies and ecstasies, and the thrills of victory with the help of Jesus at the center of it all.

We live in a culture where we are bombarded with sexual images, discussions, and details that sometimes feel like a barrage from which we can never get away from – and I don’t think we will encounter less, but an increasingly greater exposure to all things related to sex. Many pastors and theologians will attack this book in particular for the issues the Driscoll’s discuss. They are very open and honestly discuss and tackle a lot of the questions that never get asked “in church.” However, in my experience as a pastor and life coach I am grateful that the Driscoll’s address the reality of the times in which we are living. No sexual rock is left unturned – but dealt with thoughtfully, theologically, and forthrightly.

I think one of the reasons for so much open talk about sex is the fact that the Driscoll’s minister to literally thousands of men and women in their early twenties – and it happens to be a very hot topic in their context.

Perhaps the best contribution of this book is how the Driscoll’s turned a marriage on the rocks into a marriage on the Rock – built on the solid foundation that is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ through repentance and faith. Too many partners have the “grass is greener on the other side” mentality. The Driscoll’s demonstrate that all things are possible with God’s guidance and wisdom and especially with Christ at the center of a marriage. Mark states this very important truth, “There are no loving marriages apart from repentance and forgiveness. Marriage either gets bitter or better.” They show how a difficult and broken marriage can be repaired, restored, resurrected, renewed, and rejuvenated by the amazing grace of God through the Lord Jesus Christ. The good news is that it’s never to late to repent and change with God’s help.

I would hesitate to recommend this book to just anyone. Mark and Grace’s style may be too open, vulnerable, and transparent for some people. Also, some of their advise is definitely in the extra/non-biblical category. You will encounter the “reality” of marriage from “real” people who are seeking to do things God’s way for the long haul. If you are “old school” and squeamish about frank talk on sex – I would encourage you to just skip chapter 10. I am grateful that they are willing to be authentic and transparent in addressing issues in such a sexualized culture as ours – especially in a church (Mars Hill) with so many young people asking the questions they are addressing. Whether you agree with what they say in chapter 10 or not – it’s important that you read this in context of the whole book.

If you are a pastor, counselor, or life coach and reading this review I would ask that you read the book first and prayerfully decide whether you would recommend it or not. I will use some its contents in my own marriage and in helping others – again there is a lot of good stuff in this book – a lot of practical applications. There are some things that I agree wholeheartedly with, and others that I do not. I would encourage you also to read Tim Challies’ review on his blog, and Albert Mohler’s review on his blog to see some specific warnings and examples of why this book needs to be taken with a grain of salt – as they say.

There are simply too many other good books on marriage that I can recommend without a single caveat or reservation that are out there: Tim Keller’s “The Meaning of Marriage,” R.C. Sproul’s “The Intimate Marriage”, “Love and Respect” by Emmerson Eggerichs, and also “What Did You Expect?” by Paul Tripp, “Sacred Marriage” by Gary Thomas, “Marriage Matters” by Winston T. Smith, and “When Sinners Say ‘I Do'” by Dave Harvey would all be books that I would recommend wholeheartedly as books that are biblically and theologically right on – without all the controversy.

However, don’t let some of the “chaff” of this book (and the negative reviews that are sure to come) keep you from enjoying and benefiting from the multitude of wheat (that which is beneficial and practical) contained in the pages of this book. I think chapter 11 with its plethora of ideas, questions, and principles for discussion are more than worth the price of the book. I am grateful for Mark and Grace’s ministry in their home, for the sake of Christ’s Church, and their commitment to tackle all things related to the gospel through the lenses of Scripture, their own experiences, and with a passion for Jesus Christ.

Book Review: Men of God edited by Trevor Archer and Tim Thornborough

Helping You in Becoming a Man of God

 The stated purpose of this book written by various British men is to answer the question: “What does it mean for modern men to know Christ?” The driving compass guiding this book resonates with a Christo-centric theology designed to “clarify the content of the gospel according to Scripture and then to explore its impact on how men should understand their identity in Christ. It is vital to understand that, without the gospel, what we do week by week in our churches, in our homes, in our leisure and in our working lives will inevitably become man-centered rather than God-centered. This is why we must always return again and again to the gospel as it is revealed in the Scriptures. Only when our lives are centered on the gospel of Christ will we be able to live for Christ.”

The rest of the chapters in the book are briefer than chapter one, all stand alone, and include a biblical section to start with containing applications, and practical case studies for the day to day realities that men face. Each chapter also provides discussion questions provided at the end of the chapter based on the Bible study – ideal for small groups, and discipleship among men (ideal for groups of two-three).

The topics dealt with in this book include men and 1) singleness; 2) marriage; 3) sex; 4) fatherhood; 5) church; 6) work; 7) witness; 8) witness; 9) discipling; 10) leisure. Some of the better-known authors (to Americans anyway) in this book include Tim Chester, David Jackman, and Vaughan Roberts.

I highly recommend this book for men and men’s ministries that have a passion for Christ-centered theology, and want their men to look, sound, and act more like Jesus and impact culture with the gospel. One of the really nice things about this book is that the chapters are short without sacrificing depth.

Book Review: The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller

A Compelling Vision of Christian Marriage

 Tim Keller is the pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan, New York since he planted it in 1989, and the church reflects the city’s demographics: approximately 80% of the people (in a church of several thousand) are single. So Keller has a lot of experience in teaching, counseling and shepherding singles in particular. This book had its roots in the early 1990’s when he did a series of sermons on marriage because of the skepticism, fear, and arguments that many of the singles in attendance had toward marriage in the beginning stages of the church – and still do today. He also wrote this book to share from his own experiences with his wife Kathy of 37 years and counting. However, most importantly he wrote this book to give a compelling vision of what marriage was designed to look like from the Bible from Genesis to Revelation – from the first marriage of Adam and Eve to the last marriage of Christ and the Church.

Keller states in the introduction, “its [the books] primary goal is to give both married and unmarried people a vision for what marriage is according to the Bible.” I believe that Keller succeeds in giving a very compelling case for marriage from the three stands above – from his experience, his realistic apologetic of building a case for the benefits and values of marriage, and then giving a compelling biblical vision throughout the book for the beauty of marriage when it reflects the glory of Christ at the center of it all. He does not minimize the difficulties, or the effort and hard work involved in a marriage, but is clear-headed, and cogently eloquent in presenting the “complexities of commitment with the wisdom of God.”

Here is a sample of an excellent example he gives for submitting to the Bible as God’s manual for marriage:

“Think of buying a car: If you purchase a vehicle, a machine well beyond your own ability to create, you will certainly take up the owner’s manual and abide by what the designer says the car needs by way of treatment and maintenance. To ignore it would be to court disaster…Plenty of people who do not acknowledge God or the Bible, yet who are experiencing happy marriages, are largely abiding by God’s intentions, whether they realize it or not. But it is far better if we are conscious of those intentions. And the place to discover them is in the writings of the Scripture.”

Some of the ambivalent views and objections to marriage Keller elaborates on and dispels in this book are as follows:

“Marriage is just a piece of paper that only serves to complicate love”

“Marriage was originally about property and is now in flux”

“Marriage crushes individual identity and has been oppressive for women”

“Marriage stifles passion and is ill-fitted to psychological reality”

The Outline of Keller’s book is as follows:

Chapter One – A rich and deep discussion of Genesis 2 and Ephesians 5 bringing Paul’s discussion into today’s context and demonstrating “why the gospel helps us to understand marriage and how marriage helps us to understand the gospel.”

Chapter Two – With great skill and penetrating insight Keller shows how the sin nature resulting in selfishness necessitates the supernatural work of the Holy Spirit in making the saving work of Christ operative in bringing two hearts to beat as one.

Chapter Three – He helpfully shows what biblical love is – and what covenantal commitment is all about.

Chapter Four – He elaborates on the whole question of what marriage is for: “It is a way for two spiritual friends to help each other on their journey to become the persons God designed them to be…there is a kind of deeper happiness that is found on the far side of holiness.”

Chapter Five – He talks about the power of truth; the power of love – via affection, friendship, and service all in the context of grace.

Chapter Six – An excellent discussion of the Trinitarian roles and how that translates into gender roles in a marriage.

Chapter Seven – On Singleness and Marriage. Here is a sample of some guidelines he gleans for singles in relationships before marriage:

“Recognize that there are seasons for not seeking marriage.”

“Understand the “gift of singleness.’”

“Get more serious about seeking marriage as you get older.”

“Do not allow yourself deep emotional involvement with a non-believing person.”

“Feel ‘attraction’ in the most comprehensive sense.”

“Don’t let things get too passionate too quickly.”

“…don’t become a faux spouse for someone who won’t commit to you.”

“Get and submit to lots of community input.”

Chapter Eight – A good discussion of sex – realities and misperceptions – and the glory of it when it is practiced the way God designed it.

The book closes with a short epilogue and a short, but very helpful discussion on decision-making and gender roles.

All the chapters are very well written, have depth and penetrating insight, are logical and clear, balanced in dealing with the “then” and “now” of how the Scriptures apply and always pointing to Jesus at the center of the meaning of life and marriage. Dr. Keller knows what he’s talking about and has done an outstanding job of building a great case for marriage in a culture that simply doesn’t understand it and hasn’t been consulting the Creator’s manual and applying it in our marriages. I now have a new favorite book on marriage to recommend whole-heartedly to singles and married couples alike!

*TIMOTHY KELLER was born and raised in Pennsylvania, and educated at Bucknell University, Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, and Westminster Theological Seminary. He was first a pastor in Hopewell, Virginia. In 1989 he started Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan with his wife, Kathy, and their three sons. Today, Redeemer has more than five thousand regular attendees at five services, a host of daughter churches, and is planting churches in large cities throughout the world. He is the author of KING’S CROSS, COUNTERFEIT GODS, THE PRODIGAL GOD, the New York Times bestseller THE REASON FOR GOD & the forthcoming CENTER CHURCH (August 2012).

Book Review: Discovering God’s Will by Sinclair B. Ferguson

My Favorite Scottish Theologian/Pastor on God’s Will

 I am partial to pastor theologians (men that teach or have taught in the seminary and are also preaching pastors) like R. C. Sproul, John Piper, Mark Dever, Eugene Peterson, James White and the writer of this book, Sinclair Ferguson, because they are well studied, but as they have a book on one knee, they also have a lamb on the other knee. They know the Scriptures, but they also know people and how the two need the Word and Shepherding.

In this book Ferguson emphasizes the fact that the best way to get guidance in the Christian life is by knowing the Guide – our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It’s very important to know about the Guide, but so much more important to know the Guide personally and intimately as your Shepherd, Leader, Supplier, and Restorer. He instills in us the idea that you will only do the will of God insofar as you follow His lead in your life.

In the first chapter of the book Dr. Ferguson develops the ideas that a Christian is one who walks on the paths which God has laid; enjoys the purpose for his life which God has ordained; and looks to the destiny which God has planned. Some of the key questions he grapples with are the following: Why has God made me? What is my life for? Will this course of action tend to further the glory of God? What does it mean that our lives should reflect his glory?

In chapter two Sinclair develops the idea of how God has revealed his character and ways in three specific ways: 1) God’s direct commandments and prohibitions; 2) The numerous principles worked out in the Scriptures; and 3) The illustrations and biographical accounts which reveal how these principles of God’s working with his people turn out in personal experiences. He states, “The chief need we have is that of increased familiarity with sensitivity to the wisdom of his word…But we are not called by God to make the mysterious, the unusual, the inexplicable the rule of our lives, but his word.”

Some practical principles on guidance:

1)    God’s guidance will require patience on our part.

2)    It is essential that we come to see the part which our own thinking should play in the discernment of the will of God.

3)    The discovery of God’s will and its accomplishment involves our own will.

In chapter three he develops the idea of guarding the heart, and deals specifically with our motives and conditions with an excellent treatment of the deceptiveness and transformation of the heart from the Proverbs, Psalms, and the book of James.

In chapter four Ferguson develops the idea that “to live in the will of God is to walk in love, to walk in light and to walk in wisdom.”

The principles of conduct he develops in chapter five are to help us answer six key questions when the Bible doesn’t specifically address something we have to decide about with reference to moral or ethical dilemmas we encounter:

1)    Is it lawful? (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

2)    Is it beneficial to me? Will it complicate, rather than simplify my life? (1 Tim. 4:4; Rom. 14:14; 1 Cor. 6:12)

3)    Is it enslaving? (1 Cor. 9:27; 2 Tim. 1:7)

4)    Is it consistent with Christ’s Lordship? (1 Cor. 6:19-20; 7:23)

5)    Is it helpful to others? (Rom. 14:20; 1 Cor. 10:33; Jn. 17:19; Rom. 15:3; Heb. 4:12)

6)    Is it consistent with the example of Christ and the apostles? Are there incidents, or is there teaching in Scripture, which can be applied to the situation in which I find myself? Will it give me a clue to the will of God for my life now? Is it for the glory of God? For that matter, am I living for the glory of God? (cf. 1 Cor. 11:1; Phil. 3:17; 2 Thess. 3:7; 2 Tim. 3:20; Heb. 6:12; 13:7)

In chapter six he urges us to consider our calling by considering our gifts, needs, and settled interests.

Chapter seven underscores several principles and questions to ask concerning marriage:

1)    Be realistic in your expectations.

2)    Be biblical in your preparation by answering some of these key questions: What is marriage for? What should I look for in a husband or a wife?

3)    How do we fulfill the different roles of husband and wife? (Eph. 5:21-33)

4)    What is the character of marriage?

5)    What is the ultimate aim of marriage? I love what Ferguson says in answering this particular question, “The ultimate aim of marriage is to reflect God’s image; to reflect the glory of his grace and Being. This means that marriage can never be an end in itself. It exists for a greater purpose than its own fulfillment.”

Chapter 8 develops the theme of waiting on the Lord. He elaborates on issues we wrestle with like impatience, God’s apparent silence, and how to trust in God during these waiting times. Some of the difficulties of waiting are addressed as well like:

1)    We are reluctant to accept our status in this world as pilgrims.

2)    We are sometimes unwilling to bow to the sovereign providences of God in our lives.

3)    We lack faith in the goodness of God.

4)    We are too easily influenced by the attitudes of the age in which we live.

The last chapter of the book hones in on the ways God leads us. He closes by giving a practical exposition of Psalm 23 – God supplies our needs (v.1); God restores His people (v.3); God leads His people (v. 3); God protects His people (v.4); God richly blesses his people (v.5); God preserves to the end with his people (v.6).

I would describe this book as encouraging, Christo-centric, pastoral,  helpful, enriching, and biblically grounded. I highly recommend this book – especially if you don’t like to read a lot – the chapters are short and concise, and Dr. Ferguson does not waste words – short, sweet, and to the point.

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