Category: Decision Making

Dr. Paul David Tripp on “Why Does God Ask Us To Wait?”

Spiritual Muscle Development by Paul David Tripp

So, what happens inside of you when you are asked to wait? Is waiting, for you, a time of strengthening or weakening? Have you ever stopped to consider why God asks you to wait?  Let me point you to one of his purposes.

Waiting Is Giving You Time

When God asks you to wait, what happens to your spiritual muscles? While you wait, do your spiritual muscles grow bigger and stronger or do they grow flaccid and atrophied? Waiting for the Lord isn’t about God forgetting you, forsaking you, or being unfaithful to his promises. It’s actually God giving you time to consider his glory and to grow stronger in faith. Remember, waiting isn’t just about what you are hoping for at the end of the wait, but also about what you will become as you wait.

Waiting always presents me with a spiritual choice-point. Will I allow myself to question God’s goodness and progressively grow weaker in faith, or will I embrace the opportunity of faith that God is giving me and build my spiritual muscles? (see Psalm 27:4)

It’s so easy to question your belief system when you are not sure what God is doing. It’s so easy to give way to doubt when you are being called to wait. It’s so easy to forsake good habits and to take up habits of unfaith that weaken the muscles of the heart. Let me suggest some habits of unfaith that cause waiting to be a time of increasing weakness rather than of building strength. These are bad habits that all of us are tempted to give way to.

Habits of Unfaith

Giving way to doubt. There’s a fine line between the struggle to wait and giving way to doubt. When you are called to wait, you are being called to do something that wasn’t part of your plan and is therefore something that you struggle to see as good. Because you are naturally convinced that what you want is right and good, it doesn’t seem loving that you are being asked to wait. You can see how tempting it is then to begin to consider questions of God’s wisdom, goodness, and love.  It is tempting, in the frustration of waiting, to actually begin to believe that you are smarter than God.

Giving way to anger. It’s very easy to look around and begin to think that the bad guys are being blessed and the good guys are getting hammered (see Psalm 73). There will be times when it simply doesn’t seem right that you have to wait for something that seems so obviously good to you. It will feel that you are being wronged, and when it does, it seems right to be angry. Because of this, it’s important to understand that the anger you feel in these moments is more than anger with the people or circumstances that are the visible cause for your waiting. No, your anger is actually anger with the One who is in control of those people and those circumstances. You are actually giving way to thinking that you have been wronged by God.

Giving way to discouragement. This is where I begin to let my heart run away with the “If only_____,” the “What if_____,” and the “What will happen if_____.” I begin to give my mind to thinking about what will happen if my request isn’t answered soon, or what in the world will happen if it’s not answered at all. This kind of meditation makes me feel that my life is out of control. And I am able to think my life is out of control because I have forgotten God’s wise and gracious contol over very part of my existence. Rather than my heart being filled with joy, my heart gets flooded with worry and dread. Free mental time is spent considering my dark future, with all the resulting discouragement that will always follow.

Giving way to envy. When I am waiting, it’s very tempting to look over the fence and wish for the life of someone who doesn’t appear to have been called to wait. It’s very easy to take on an “I wish I were that guy” way of living. You can’t give way to envy without questioning God’s wisdom and his love. Here is the logic: if God really loves you as much as he loves that other guy, you would have what the other guy has. Envy is about feeling forgotten and forsaken, coupled with a craving to have what your neighbor enjoys.

Giving way to inactivity. The result of giving way to all of these things is inactivity. If God isn’t as good and wise as I once thought he was, if he withholds good things from his children, and if he plays favorites, then why would I continue to pursue him? Maybe all those habits of faith aren’t helping me after all; maybe I’ve been kidding myself.

Sadly, this is the course that many people take as they wait. Rather than growing in faith, their motivation for spiritual exercise is destroyed by doubt, anger, discouragement, and envy, and the muscles of faith that were once robust and strong are now atrophied and weak.

One of His Primary Shaping Tools

The reality of waiting is that it’s an expression of God’s goodness not empirical evidence against it. He is wise and loving. His timing is always right, and his focus isn’t so much on what you will experience and enjoy, but on what you will become. He is committed to using every tool at his disposal to rescue you from yourself and to shape you into the likeness of his Son. The fact is that waiting is one of his primary shaping tools.

So, how do you build your spiritual muscles during the wait? Well, you must commit yourself to resisting those habits of unfaith and with discipline pursue a rigorous routine of spiritual exercise.

What is the equipment in God’s gym of faith? Here are the things that he has designed for you to build the muscles of your heart and strengthen your resolve: the regular study of his Word; consistent godly fellowship; looking for God’s glory in creation every day; putting yourself under excellent preaching and teaching of Scripture; investing your quiet mental time in meditating on the goodness of God (e.g., as you are going off to sleep); reading excellent Christian books; and spending ample time in prayer. All of these things will result in spiritual strength and vitality.

Is God asking you to wait? So, what is happening to your muscles?

About the Author: Paul David Tripp is the president of Paul Tripp Ministries, a nonprofit organization whose mission statement is “Connecting the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life.” Tripp is also professor of pastoral life and care at Redeemer Seminary in Dallas, Texas, and executive director of the Center for Pastoral Life and Care in Fort Worth, Texas. Tripp has written many books on Christian living that are read and distributed internationally. He has been married for many years to Luella, and they have four grown children. There are very few people today who can apply the gospel to every aspect of life as practically as Dr. Tripp. The article above is adapted from: http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/spiritual-muscle-development, January 26, 2011.

Have You Developed an Intentional Life Plan?

[The very helpful resource below is similar to the Vertical Life Plan that I have developed to help people live more intentionally with Christ at the center of all of life for the ultimate glory of God. I highly recommend that you get a Bible, a journal, and slip away to a quiet place to work through this Life Plan. Ideally, if you can get away for a day or two in a quiet place where you will have minimal disturbances or distractions you will find that God can really meet you in a powerful way and release you on a rejuvenating and reinvigorating journey with Him and for Him. I would also highly recommend that you go through this inventory with a trusted friend, pastor, life-coach, or mentor for some honest accountability and encouragement to give your life focus, direction, and faithfulness to God’s calling on your life – DPC]

 

 “LIFE PLAN” by Dr. Martin Sanders

It’s been called “MIDLIFE crisis,” “midlife reevaluation,” “midcourse adjustment,” “crunch-time” and many other things. When you reach a place in your life where it becomes clear either to you or to the people around you that it’s time for you to do an assessment, where do you start?

This tool is designed for self-evaluation and reflection. You may want to have others [like a professional life coach, pastor, or trusted friend] assist you in the process. Realize that not every section will be the most pertinent for you, but seek to go through each of them in a thoughtful and reflecting manner. This process may take you a few hours or, for some, a few days. It may cause you to reflect, find hope or maybe even shed some tears. It is designed to assist you in more effectively evaluating the best of who you are and how to reach your life dream in life.

Whether it’s time for a change in lifestyle or career or simply a time for you to reevaluate how to do what you do more effectively and more efficiently, this life plan is designed to help you move from your original dream through the developmental stages of assessment to finally arrive as a future dream.

Original Dream

Describing your original dream takes you to a place of ultimate impact and fulfillment. It’s a place where your life has maximum meaning. Almost everyone has a dream, but the fear of failure and concern about finances are often limitations. The purpose of this exercise is to help you figure our what it is that really captures your imagination, how you can be used the most and then how you can take steps to fulfill that original dream.

(1)  God back to a time in your life—high school, college or some other time—when you were dreaming your original dream. Begin to define or describe that dream.

(2)  What really excites you about your dream?

(3)  Do you possess the necessary resources—education, experience, discipline, courage, confidence, finances, etc., –to fulfill your dream? If not, can you secure them?

(4)  Do you think in terms of success n life or personal significance and influence? Do you think in terms of financial success or personal or spiritual impact?

(5)  How clear is your sense of dream? Is it very undefined? Is there a general sense to it? Are there general steps for it to be accomplished?

(6)  What are two or three steps you could take to get you started on defining, discovering and fulfilling your original dream?

Your Gifts And Calling

Gifts/Passions. When you assess your areas of gifting, it’s not just about reflecting on what you’ve done. It’s also important to look at areas that you’ve not yet developed. Look past successes and failures. Look at issues of confidence, or lack thereof, to see if they are holding you back. Also, look not only at your experiences, but also at your passion and your dreams. Then look at issues of your temperament, the time availability you have and your personal and spiritual maturity. This will help you figure out what your gifting and passion are and how you can best invest your life.

(1)  What do you like to do?

(2)  What have you been successful at?

(3)  What is the primary passion of your life? What do you dream about when you give yourself time and permission to dream?

(4)  Of the experiences you have had in the last five years, which ones have captured your imagination most?

(5)  If you were guaranteed that success and money were not an issue, what would you do with your life?

(6)  Do you feel trapped, or is there fulfillment in what you do? Can you see yourself there for the long-term or even the rest of your life?

(7)  When you look at how you are investing or have invested your time, energy and gifting, is this the best use of who you are? Is this as good as it gets for you?

Kingdom Investment of Your Life

It is important that, once you have discovered the particular gifts and abilities that God has given you, you examine whether you only use them to enjoy them or if you use them in ways that bring glory to Him.

(1)  Have you figured out how to take the best of who you are and invest it in God’s kingdom in such a way that it reproduces dividends that last for eternity?

(2)  Do you intentionally look for ways to take those gifts and abilities and use them in a way that other people can benefit from them?

(3)  Are you confident in taking the best of what God has given you and using it as widely as possible, or do you simply use it in formats that are comfortable for you?

(4)  Do you see ways that God would like to use you that you don’t feel confident doing now?

(5)  Are there times when you know that you’re supposed to do something but don’t have the courage or want to take the time to do it?

(6)  If you could be given one or two things that would help you take the best of who you are and invest it more completely, what would it be? Do you need courage, confidence, education, financial resources, empowerment, or someone to walk you through the process? Do you need a mentor, friend, spiritual director, or life coach? Do you need someone to pray with you and listen to you?

(7)  Think through any limitations that hold you back from investing the best of who you are. Begin to address those.

(8)  Interview several other people. Ask them ways they have seen God use you. Why did he use you in this way? Did it happen just once, or is there a pattern? Don’t overlook old friends, members of churches you have been a part of, family members and ministers you have known. They can help you with this.

Calling, Clarification, Leading, Direction

 There are three different types of calling:

The first type is the general calling to be holy as God is holy and to love the Lord God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. It’s a general sense of leaving what you have to follow Christ completely.

The second kind of call comes to specific people, such as the disciples of Jesus, who were called to leave their locations and their livelihoods to follow Him completely with their time and receive financial support for their sustenance.

The third kind of call is a very specific one of which there are plenty of examples in the Bible: See the stories of Moses, Samson, Isaiah, Jeremiah, John the Baptist, Jesus and Saul of Tarsus. These individuals were singled out. They were often told that they had a purpose from before their birth. Their whole lives’ purpose was to fulfill a particular destiny or calling that God had for them. Be careful about assuming that this third type of call is normative. It does still happen today, but if we only have a dozen or so examples recorded in the Bible, then we know that their occurrence is somewhat limited.

The key aspect of calling is clarification. Am I being called by God to follow Him with the totality of my life? Or is it also with the totality of my time, whereby I leave my current vocation and take on a ministerial vocation where I am paid by kingdom finances and resources?

A second aspect of calling is leading. One can have multiple leadings over his or her lifetime, all of which will fit under some kind of vocational ministry. For example, I know a man who has been a pastor, a missionary a supervisor of a thousand missionaries, a denominational executive, a college professor, dean and president and ultimately, president of a denomination.

A final aspect is direction. Direction is, “Where do I live this out? What are some concrete ways to live out my sense of calling and leading? For example, if I am called to follow God completely and I am led to be a teacher, is God going to lead me in the direction of working with children, youth or adults? Is my work going to be spiritual development or also educational and academic development? Is it going to be at a college level or a graduate level? Is it going to be here in the United States or is it going to be overseas? Is it going to be in the urban core or is it going to be in suburbia or someplace in the heartland? As you look at your life, it is significant to clarify issues of calling, leading and direction.

(1)  Do you have a clear sense that God is leading you to resign from your career in order to use the full extent of your time and energies in serving Him?

(2)  If everyone is called to follow God completely, do you have a sense that He is asking you to follow Him with the totality of your life? Are you convinced that you would do that best by giving Him the totality of your time as well?

(3)  Do you have a sense that God wants you to stay in your career or location to serve Him? Or are you to leave behind that career or location and receive financial support from kingdom monies in order to follow Him completely with your time as well as your life?

Your Career

There are a number of assessments that are helpful in determining a job or career. A popular book written to help in this area is What Color Is Your Parachute? By Nelson Bolles. A detailed career assessment tool called IDAK is also extremely useful in helping you discover for what career or job you are most suited. (An IDAK assessment will take you approximately eight to ten hours.) Ask yourself the following questions:

(1)  What do I fantasize about?

(2)  What is my dream job?

(3)  What will bring me the most fulfillment?

(4)  How do I invest my life in a way that counts the most?

(5)  What are the outcomes of my life that I want to celebrate?

(6)  When I’m old and sitting on a porch in a rocking chair, looking back over my life, what do I want to have the greatest memories about?

(7)  When I near the end of my life, what will I wish I would have explored and gone for that I hesitated about and didn’t pursue?

(8)  What can I do in life that brings me the greatest sense of accomplishment, fulfillment, satisfaction and peace that also makes a difference in the kingdom?

Getting There

Intentionality. Looking at your life purpose and intentionality with which you approach your life will really be the key to the fulfillment of your life plan. Begin to think in terms of how intentional and purposeful you are with your life, your giftedness and how you invest the best of yourself, your time and your resources each day. Look at your current situation and do some honest evaluation of where you are currently and how you arrived there.

(1)  How much of your life currently is a response to an intentional design or pattern of decision-making?

(2)  Do you feel particularly directed by God to this situation?

(3)  Have you been systematically discipled?

(4)  Has your spiritual development been, or is it now, an intentional direction?

(5)  How intentional have you been with spending time with God? With key friends in your life? With developing relationships with family?

(6)  In your spiritual life, have you sought to replicate your giftedness, reproducing it in other people so they can benefit from it?

(7)  Is your current life purpose and vocation something that has grown out of thoughtfulness and intentional development, or have you just happened to stumble into what you’re currently doing?

(8)  Do you thoughtfully dream and think about what your life is and could become or do you simply do what is required of you each day to get through it?

Other Key Questions to ask:

(1)  Have you participated in the intentional development of other people in your life?

(2)  Why did they choose you?

(3)  What did they see in you that they saw as either necessary or useful?

(4)  How did they impact you?

(5)  What’s been their ongoing influence in your life?

(6)  How has the influence changed your life?

(7)  How have you or can you pass that on to other people?

Proper Motives. Some people do the right things for the wrong reasons. To discover why you do what you do, it is important to regularly check your motives. The following are some key questions to as. Often nothing will show up. It is essential, however, that you do not try to answer these solely in your own mind, but that you have someone probe a bit into other aspects of why you do what you do. This should preferably be done with a mentor or an older, trusted friend with some wisdom who will ask you questions to clarify your purposes. A therapist’s help may even be beneficial. It’s important to note your idiosyncrasies here [a pastor or life coach can also be extremely helpful here].

(1)  Why are you the way you are? What are the life experiences and decisions that have formed you as the person you are becoming?

(2)  Why do you do what you do? Why is it important to you? What are the key motivational factors for you?

(3)  What criteria have you used to make decisions?

(4)  Do you do what you do for the right reasons?

(5)  Who benefits the most from what you do?

(6)  Are there any improper motives that need to be checked?

(7)  Is there any way that you are trying to fulfill your life plan in such a way that it will ultimately hurt, harm, limit or even destroy you or someone else?

(8)  What are your temptations to do things that will make you look better in the public eye? Do you take too much responsibility for how well you did? Do you give credit where credit is due?

(9)  Do you have any ‘dark-side’ temptations? Sexuality, addiction or addictive traits? (Again, to have a mentor, an older, wise friend or even a therapist [pastor or life coach] help you with these regularly is helpful).

(10) Who asks you tough questions about your motives? Who speaks truth to you? Who is someone in your life who can tell you that you have made a wrong decision and to whom you will listen?

(11) Do you have any patterns or tendencies to discredit people who do not agree with you? Do you discredit them or your opponents or do you take their advice and attempt to understand its implications for you?

Assessments help you create a personal profile of why you are the way you are and why you do the things you do. They will help you understand and see more objectively your preferences, the kind of person you are and God’s work in your life and help you figure out how to develop from there. In choosing assessments, it is crucial to look at personality, temperament, preference, vocational contexts and leadership management styles. Here is a short list of recommended assessments and the areas they assessment:

  • 16PF: Personality Profile
  • Uniquely You: DISC profile, temperament analysis, spiritual gift assessment and summary profile
  • IDAK: career assessment
  • LEAD: leadership style
  • Management Style Diagnostic Inventory: managerial style
  • Networking: complete spiritual gift analysis and spiritual gift profile

Focus. There is an old adage: “Very few people in life plan to fail; they just fail to plan.” This is a time to take a good look at your life and figure out what is holding you back and keeping you from fulfilling your life purpose. Ask yourself the following questions. You may also find it useful to pursue people in your life who will answer these questions for you.

(1)  How do you get a focus to your life?

(2)  What distractions in your life need to be addressed?

(3)  Are you a dabbler? Do you enjoy many things without focusing on one?

(4)  Do you have tendencies to over commit and do more things than you can do well?

(5)  Are you aware of the things you do best? Are you confident in them? Do they bring you a sense of satisfaction?

(6)  What are clutter issues in your life? Timing? Relationships? Emotional or spiritual deprivation needs?

(7)  If you were to ask the person closest to you, “What is the thing that keeps me from being successful or impacting others?” what would he or she highlight as the clutter that keeps you from experiencing success in your life?

(8)  What would that same person say was “good” in your life but was keeping you from doing your best?

(9)  How would the person who works closest with you but dislikes you answer the previous questions?

(10) If you take stock in your life today, assuming that the current pattern will continue for the rest of your life, will you be happy with the outcome?

(11) Is this the time for you to get a clearer focus and rid your life of some “stuff”?

Areas to Develop. Don’t forget that sometimes your greatest successes can become limitations. Sometimes you celebrate them too much and forget to keep a clear focus on priorities. Consider the three to five things in your life that you want to do most successfully and the values that drive you. Focus for a moment on any potential or perceived limitations to achieving your goal.

(1)  Do you take stock of your life in your emerging life plan?

(2)  What are the areas of your life that still need to be developed in order for you to fulfill this life dream, calling and life mission?

(3)  What areas need to be addressed with clear intentionality?

(4)  What areas of depth of wisdom, insight, relationship, spiritual understanding and understanding motivations that need to be developed?

(5)  Is there anything holding you back?

(6)  Have you let a minor setback keep you from experimenting or trying something else?

(7)  Have you focused too much on one strength without pursuing additional strengths to accompany it?

(8)  Have you simply become accustomed to what you do? Although you are comfortable in your current situation, is it possible that it’s not the best use of the totality of your strengths?

(9)  How do you maintain your passion?

(10)  How do you stay on the right road? How do you keep a clear focus and ensure that this isn’t another tangent or another “to do” in your life, but really the purpose, direction and focus of your life?

After you have done this assessment for yourself, find some other people to help you. Utilize friends, family members, counselors, pastors, life coaches, mentors and spiritual directors to ask questions like:

(1)  What are some areas in my life that are yet to be developed?

(2)  What are the developmental steps needed for me to develop them?

(3)  How do I move from where I am to actually fulfilling my life plan?

Future Dreams

As you look at future dreams, ask yourself the following questions. All of these come together to create a life plan for you. The goal is to invest the life you have been given in such a way that it creates the greatest impact on the kingdom of God and in eternity.

(1)  What else it there for me?

(2)  Is there one more big challenge? I there a mission or task that I need to undertake that I have nor yet done?

(3)  Is there something that no one else is doing that I can do?

(4)  What maturity and development do I need in order to be able to do it?

(5)  Do I have a unique perspective, calling or purpose in life that could be used in ways I have not thought of? In ways that perhaps others have not thought of, either?

(6)  What will be the lasting impact of my life? How can I begin to plan for it now?

(7)  What resources do I need in order to fulfill my missions(s)? People resources? Financial resources? Experiential resources?

A lot has gone into making you the person you are now. Some things you have just assumed, a few you have regretted. But they have all gone into making you the person you are today. Attempt to see your life with the greatest outcomes in view, and attempt to see your life from God’s perspective. He does have a dream for your life. He is on your side. He is working with you to accomplish it. May your life fulfill both your dream and His for you.

About the Author: Dr. Martin Sanders is a professor at Alliance Theological Seminary in Nyack, New York. He also serves as president of Global Leadership, Inc. through which he develops leaders, national pastors and missionaries in over 30 countries. Dr. Sanders is married and has four adult children. He is the author of the highly recommended book The Power of Mentoring: Shaping People Who Will Shape the World. Christian Publications, Inc., Camp Hill, PA, 2004 from which the article above is adapted – Appendix 1 (pp. 173-187). He is has also written a very good book on the family entitled: How to Get the Family You’ve Always Wanted.

Complaining: Don’t Blame God for Your Problems by Ray Pritchard

“A man’s own folly ruins his life, yet his heart rages against the Lord.” – Proverbs 19:3

Here is a common problem. When things go bad for us, we start to blame God as if He were the source of all our problems. Like Adam in the Garden of Eden, we say, “It was the woman you gave me,” forgetting all along that no one made us eat the fruit.

Complaining is counterproductive in many ways.

First, it may turn us against God and block the flow of His blessing into our lives.

Second, it may cause us to blame others instead of looking within the source of our problems.

Third, it may cause us to miss the lessons God is trying to teach us through the difficulties we encounter.

Hard times provide some of the most important lessons of spiritual growth.

Several years ago a friend shared a statement that revolutionized my thinking in this area. It is deceptively simple: “When hard times come, be a student, not a victim.” The more I ponder those words, the more profound they seem. Many people go through life as professional victims always talking about how unfair life is.

[The chart below will help you identify whether you see yourself as a victim or a student of your circumstances]:

 A VICTIM (IMMATURE) PERSON:                                    A STUDENT (MATURE) PERSON:

Asks, “Why did this happen to me?” Asks, “What can I learn from this?”
Blames others for his problems Asks, “How much of this did I bring on myself?”
Believes hard times have come because God is trying to punish him Understands that God allows hard times in order to help him grow
Looks at everyone else and cries out, “Life isn’t fair.” Looks at life and says, “What’s happened to me could have happened to anybody.”
Would rather complain than find a solution. Has no time to complain because he is making the best of his situation.
Believes the deck of life is forever stacked against him. Believes that God is able to reshuffle the deck anytime He wants to.
Feels so sorry for himself that he has not time for others. Focuses on helping others so that he has no time to feel sorry for himself.
Begs God to remove all the problems of life so that he might be happy. Has learned through the problems of life that God alone is the source of all true happiness.
Worry about what other people think of them. Know that the only thing that matters is what God thinks of them.
Limp through life, complaining about their heavy burdens. Race toward the finish line, looking to their reward.

Many things happen to us beyond our control. In that sense, we are all victims of unexpected circumstances. Unfortunately, some people never rise above the victim mode. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We have the opportunity to choose the way we respond to the things that happen to us. By the grace of God, we can decide to become students, not victims, as we face the trials of life.

Prayer: O Lord, help me to be a student and nor a victim today. Amen.

Evaluation:

Are you a complainer?

What would your friends and family say?

In what areas of life are you most tempted to be a victim?

What can you do to become a student instead?

About the Author: Ray Pritchard (Th.M., Dallas Theological Seminary; D.Min., Talbot School of Theology) is the founder and President of Keep Believing Ministries (http://www.keepbelieving.com/blog/). He was for many years the Senior Pastor of Calvary Memorial Church in Oak Park, Illinois. He has been a professor and guest lecturer at many schools and is a frequent guest on nationally broadcast radio programs. He has ministered extensively overseas, preaching in India, Nepal, Paraguay, Colombia, Haiti, Nigeria, Switzerland, Russia, and Belize. He has written more than twenty books. He has written close to 30 books on the Christian Life. The article above was excerpted and adapted in chart form – from his excellent devotional on the book of Proverbs entitled The ABC’S of Wisdom. Chicago, Moody Press, 1997, 50-52.

Four Ways God Leads His People By John Piper

“Thoughts on How to Know God’s Will”

I see at least four methods that God uses to lead us in his will. I put them in four D’s to help me remember them.

The 4 D’s

(1) Decree. God sovereignly decrees and designs circumstances so that we end up where he wants us to be even if we don’t have any conscious part in getting there. For example, Paul and Silas found themselves in jail, and the result was the salvation of the jailer and his household (Acts 16:24–34). This was God’s plan, not Paul’s. God does this often—putting us in places we did not plan or decide to be. This is the leading of decree. It is unique above the other three leadings because it includes them (since God’s decrees include all our decisions) and because it happens infallibly (since “no purpose of [God’s] can be thwarted” [Job 42:2]). The other three leadings of God involve our being consciously led.

(2) Direction. This is simply what God does for us by giving us the commands and teachings of the Bible. They direct us specifically what to do and what not to do. The Ten Commandments are one example. Don’t steal. Don’t kill. Don’t lie. The Sermon on the Mount is another: Love your enemies. The Epistles are another: Be filled with the Holy Spirit. Put on humility. This is the leading of direction. God reveals his directions in the Bible.

(3) Discernment. Most of the decisions we make are not spelled out specifically in the Bible. Discernment is how we follow God’s leading through the process of spiritually sensitive application of biblical truth to the specifics of our situation. Romans 12:2 describes this: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” In this case, God does not declare a specific word about what to do, but his Spirit shapes the mind and heart through the Word and prayer so that we have inclinations toward what would be most glorifying to him and helpful to others.

(4) Declaration. This is the least-common means of God’s leading. He simply declares to us what we should do. For example, according to Acts 8:26, “An angel of the Lord spoke to Philip saying, ‘Get up and go south to the road that descends from Jerusalem to Gaza.’ ” And according to Acts 8:29, “The Spirit said to Philip, ‘Go up and join this chariot.’ ”

Notice three implications:

First, we should always rest in the decrees of God. They will always be for our good if we love him and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). This should remove worry from our lives and put us at peace as we seek the directed, discerned, and declared leading of the Lord.

Second, there is the implication that God’s leading of decree may bring about acts that are contrary to his leading of direction, discernment, or declaration. In other words, he may direct, “Thou shalt not kill,” but decree the murderous death of his Son (Acts 4:28). There are mysteries here, but it is manifest in dozens of places in the Bible that God wills that some things come to pass which he forbids in his Word.

Finally, our confidence that we are tracking accurately with God in each of these leadings increases as we move from the bottom to the top of this list. Subjectively perceived declarations from God are the least common and most easily abused of all the ways God leads. Our confidence that we have known the will of God in this method will not be as great as in the other methods that relate directly to God’s written Word. Discerning what to do on the basis of biblical principle when we do not have a specific command for our exact decision will yield less confidence than when we have an explicit direction in the Bible. And the truth that God is sovereign and guides all things is the rock-bottom confidence under all others.

It is a good place to rest.

About the Author: Dr. John Piper is the Pastor for Preaching at Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He grew up in Greenville, South Carolina, and studied at Wheaton College, where he first sensed God’s call to enter the ministry. He went on to earn degrees from Fuller Theological Seminary (B.D.) and the University of Munich (D.theol.). For six years he taught Biblical Studies at Bethel College in St. Paul, Minnesota, and in 1980 accepted the call to serve as pastor at Bethlehem. John is the author of more than 30 books, including Desiring God, The Pleasures of God, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, What Jesus Demands from the World, and Don’t Waste Your Life. DesiringGod.org provides a huge selection of God-centered resources from the prolific ministry of John Piper with free sermons, books, conference teachings, and articles like this one. Article Above adapted from John Piper. A Godward Life: Savoring the Supremacy of God in All Life. Sisters, Or.: Multnomah Publishers, 1997, 217-219.

How Christian Coaching Can Help You? By Dr. Gary R. Collins

After being a senior pastor for over twenty years and now being a full-time “Pastoral Life Coach” I’m often asked by people – “What is life coaching and how is it different from counseling?” I don’t think I’ve come across a better answer for this than that of *Gary R. Collins in Appendix C in his fantastic book Christian Coaching, published by NavPress, Colorado Springs: 2009. Gary Collins describes almost perfectly what I seek to do with those I coach:

COACHING FACTS

 What is coaching?

The first time it was ever used, the word coach described a horse-drawn vehicle—a stagecoach that would get people from where they were to where they wanted to be. A modern bus does the same thing, and often these vehicles are called coaches. Most often today, coaches are people who help athletes and teams more from one place to another that is better and where they want to be. Even Tiger Woods has a coach to help his game of golf.

But coaches also help musicians, public speakers, and actors, who rely on coaching to improve their skills, overcome obstacles, remain focused, and get to be where they want to be. Coaching is very popular in business and corporate settings around the world where “executive coaches” help managers and other business leaders deal with change, develop new management styles, make wise decisions, become more effective, cope with their hyperactive lifestyles, and deal with stress.

Executive coaches work with people in business to help them move from where they are to levels where they are more competent, fulfilled, and self-confident than they would have been otherwise.

In summary, coaches guide people from where they are toward the greater competence and fulfillment they desire. Christian coaching is the art and practice of working with a person or group in the process of moving from where they are to where God wants them to be {My [DPC] own definition is similar, “Christian Coaching is taking a person from where they are to where God wants them to be in reflecting the image of Christ.”}.

Why would anybody want a coach?

 Coaching helps people who want to:

  • Get unstuck

  • Build their confidence

  • Expand their vision for the future

  • Fulfill their dreams

  • Unlock their potential

  • Increase their skills

  • Move through transitions

  • Take practical steps toward their goals

How does coaching differ from counseling? 

  • Unlike counseling or therapy, coaching is less threatening, less about problem solving, more about helping people reach their potential.

  • Coaching is not for people who need therapy to overcome painful influences from the past; coaches help people build vision and move toward the future.

  • Coaching is not about looking back; it’s about looking ahead.

  • Coaching is not about healing; it’s about growing.

  • Coaching focuses less on overcoming weaknesses and more on building skills and strengths.

  • Usually coaching is less formal than the counselor/counselee relationship; more often it is a partnership between two equals, one of whom has experiences, perspectives, skills, or knowledge that can be useful to the other.

What do coaches do to help others? 

Coaches stimulate better skills. Good coaching helps people anticipate what they could become, overcome self-defeating habits or insecurities, manage relationships, develop new competencies, and build effective ways to keep improving.

Coaches stimulate vision. Many individuals and churches have no clear vision. They keep doing what they have done for years, without much change and with little expectation that things will ever be different. Coaches work with individuals and organizations (including churches) as they think beyond the present, more clearly envision the future, and plan how to get there.

Coaches help people grow through life transitions. Whenever we encounter major changes in our lives—such as a new job, a promotion, a move, the death of a loved one, the launch of a new career, or retirement—we face uncertainty and the need to readjust. Experienced coaches better enable people to reassess their life goals, find new career options, change lifestyles, get training, reevaluate their finances, or find information so they can make wise decisions.

Coaches guide Christians in their spiritual journeys. Many believers understand the basics of the faith and aren’t looking to be discipled. But they need focused time with somebody who has been on the spiritual road longer, who models Christlikeness, can point out the barriers to growth, and can guide the journey.

Coaches speak the truth in love. Good coaches know that sometimes the best way to help is by refusing to ignore harmful behavior patterns. Instead, coaches nudge people to deal with attitudes and behavior that should be faced and changed.

What happens in coaching?

Coaching is a relationship that most often is client centered and goal directed. Every coaching situation is unique, but usually coaches will begin by exploring the issues that the person wants to change. In what areas does he or she want to grow? Sometimes the person wants to be a better leader, better self-manager, or someone with a clearer perspective about where to go in the future. Christians in coaching may seek to determine where God appears to be leading them to go.

There is also the need for better awareness of where the person is at present. What are his or her strengths, weaknesses, abilities, interests, passions, spiritual gifts, values, worldviews, and hopes? Often the coach will use assessment tools to enable people to learn more about themselves.

Then comes vision. Coaches might assist people, organizations, or churches in formulating life-vision or life-mission statements. Coaches might ask, for example, “Considering your gifts, abilities, driving passions, and unique God-given personality, what is your life mission?” It takes time to answer a question like that, but without a clear vision, people, churches, organizations, and even governments tend to drift with no direction.

At some time, coaches will help people set goals and plan ways to reach these goals.

When obstacles get in the way, coaches challenge, encourage, and give accountability so the person can get past the obstacles and experience success. A coach can help you remove the blinders, allowing you to see what you may not recognize and give support as you move forward. A Christian coach is there for you, prayerfully listening to your concerns and asking questions that will give you clarity on your situation, get you past your own blocks, realize your God-given potential, and challenge you to be your best.

{DPC I’d like to add my two cents about the coaching I do – I love coaching it allows me to focus on the specific needs of individuals and organizations and intentionally help them become Christ focused and thus more strategic and effective in that which truly satisfies and will last forever. The primary means I use to help people in coaching is by helping individuals develop what I call a ‘Vertical Life Plan.” A VLP is a personalized goal plan to integrate all of life holistically centered in and around Jesus as your Leader, and you as a devoted follower of Him as your Savior and Lord.  If you are interested in personal or organizational life coaching I’d love to hear how I can serve you – Dr. David P Craig – I can best be reached at: LifeCoach4God@gmail.com}

*Gary R. Collins is a licensed clinical psychologist with a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from Purdue University. He is the author of numerous articles and over 50 books, including Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide, The Biblical Basis of Christian Counseling, and Christian Coaching: Helping Others Turn Potential into Reality. Gary was general editor of the thirty-volume Resources for Christian Counseling series of professional counseling books mostly published in the 1980s, the Word Christian Counseling Library of cassette tapes, and the twelve-volume Contemporary Christian Counseling series of books that appeared in the early 1990’s.

In December 2001 NavPress published Gary’s book Christian Coaching, a book that has been revised, expanded, updated, and published in 2009. The third edition of Christian Counseling (revised, expanded and completely updated) was published by Thomas Nelson publishers in 2007, followed by an accompanying Casebook of Christian Counseling, also published by Nelson.

Gary Collins grew up in Canada and graduated from McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario and the University of Toronto before taking a year of study at the University of London. His first teaching occurred during that year as he taught courses for the University of Maryland in Germany and England. Gary spent several years in the Royal Canadian Navy Reserve before moving to the United States to study clinical psychology at Purdue University. He took his clinical psychology internship at the University of Oregon Medical School Hospitals (now University of Oregon Health Sciences University) in Portland and subsequently enrolled at Western Seminary for a year of theological study.

At Western he met his wife Julie. They were married in 1964 and moved to Minnesota where Gary taught psychology at Bethel College in St. Paul. Their two daughters, Lynn and Jan were born in Minnesota. After a year on the faculty of Conwell School of Theology in Philadelphia, the Collins family moved to Illinois where Gary taught psychology and counseling at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. For much of that time he was department chairman.

In 1991, Gary assumed responsibility for co-leading the fledgling American Association of Christian Counselors. In the seven years that followed, Gary was AACC Executive Director and later the organization’s first President. During that time AACC grew from about 700 paid members to more than 15,000. In addition to these duties, Gary founded Christian Counseling Today, the official AACC magazine which he edited for several years. In October, 1998 Gary Collins resigned from his responsibilities with AACC so he could devote more time to developing Christian counseling and Christian coaching worldwide. In addition to his other responsibilities, he currently holds a position as Distinguished Professor of Coaching and Leadership at Richmont Graduate University (formerly Psychological Studies Institute) in Atlanta and Chattanooga. In addition he is Distinguished Visiting Professor in the School of Psychology and Counseling at Regent University in Virginia where he consults with the faculty and annually teaches an accredited on-line doctoral course in coaching.

Gary has accepted invitations to speak in more than fifty countries and he continues to travel overseas and within North America to give lectures and lead workshops on Christian counseling, leadership, and Christian coaching. Gary also has a small coaching practice, writes the weekly Gary R. Collins Newsletter, and mentors a number of young, emergent leaders. He is active in a local fitness center, is blessed with boundless energy and good health, and has no plans to retire. Gary and Julie Collins live in northern Illinois, not far from their two daughters, their son-in-law, and their grandson Colin Angus McAlister.

26 Excellent Self Evaluation Questions By Gordon MacDonald

Accountability Questions For You and Your Mentoree/Disciple

 (Adapted from *Gordon MacDonald, Restoring Joy to Your Inner World, Inspiration Press, p. 573)

“Chances are that you have a physical once a year or every two years. I recommend that you also have a “spiritual” once a year as well. Your soul care is just as important as your body care! This is an excellent list of questions to help care for your soul.” – Dr. David P. Craig

(1) Where are you right now in your relationship with God?

(2) What have you read in the Bible in the last week?

(3) What has God been saying to you in this?

(4) Where do you find yourself resisting God these days?

(5) What specific things do you find yourself praying for regarding others?

(6) What specific things do you find yourself praying for yourself?

(7) What specific tasks are facing you that you consider incomplete?

(8) What habits are intimidating you at present?

(9) What have you read in the secular press this week?

(10) What general reading have you been doing?

(11) What have you done to play this week?

(12) How are you doing with your spouse/kids?

(13) If I were to ask your spouse about your state of mind, spirit, etc., what would he/she say?

(14) Are you sensing any spiritual attacks from the enemy this week? Today?

(15) If Satan were to try to invalidate you as a servant of God, where or how would he attack you?

(16) What is the state of your sexual life (temptation, fantasy, etc)?

(17) Where are you at financially (Do you have control, debts, etc)?

(18) Are there any unresolved conflicts (ailing relatives, stress, disputes) in your circle of relationships right now (family, friends those among whom we’re supposed to feel safe)?

(19) When was the last time you spent time with a friend of the same gender?

(20) What kind of time have you spent with a non-Christian this past week?

(21) What challenges do you expect to face in the coming month?

(22) What are your fears at the present time (letting family down, bodies letting us down, etc)?

(23) Are you sleeping well?

(24) What three things are you most thankful for?

(25) Do you like yourself at this point of your pilgrimage?

(26) What are you greatest confusions about your relationship with God?

 

*Gordon MacDonald has been a pastor and author for over forty years. For many years he pastored Grace Chapel in Lexington, Massachusetts and continues to serve as Pastor Emeritus. He has also provided leadership to influential ministries such as Intervarsity Christian Fellowship, which he served as President for three years, and World Relief, which he currently serves as Chairman. Gordon’s best-selling books include Ordering Your Private World, Mid-Course Correction and, most recently, A Resilient Life. He also writes and serves as Editor-at-Large for Christianity Today’s Leadership Journal. When not writing, leading or speaking at conferences, Gordon and his wife Gail can be found hiking the trails of New England.

Developing Vision in Those You Are Mentoring By Asking Great Questions by Bobb Biehl

Developing Vision in Your Mentoree/Disciple

(Adapted from Bobb Biehl, Mentoring, pp. 201-202)

 DREAMING…about the Future in a Practical Way

  1. God: What three changes in me would most please our Eternal God in His Holy Heaven?
  1. Dream/Purpose: What can I do to make the most significant difference for God in my lifetime? Why am I on the earth? What is the very best organizational context for my dream?
  1. Primary Result: What is the single best measurable indicator that I am making progress with my dream?

 

  1. Life Priorities: If I could accomplish only three measurable priorities before I die, what would I accomplish?
  1. Ten-Year Focus: If I could accomplish only three measurable priorities in the next ten years what would make a 50% difference in my life-long contribution, what would I accomplish?
  1. Annual Focus:
    • Focus – What single word best captures the focus of my next year?
    • Opportunity – Where was my greatest unexpected success last year? Why? What three steps could I take now to take full advantage of this “Window of Opportunity” this coming year?
    • Land Mines – What three land mines or roadblocks need my immediate attention? What have I been praying most about in the past 30 days? What three changes could reduce my “risk” by 50%?
    • 30/10/50% – If I could only accomplish three measurable priorities in the next twelve months that would make a 50% difference in my contribution in the next ten years, which 3 things would I most want to accomplish?
  1. Quarterly Focus: What three measurable priorities could I accomplish in the next ninety days to make a 50% difference in the results I see by the end of the year?
  1. Organization: What three categories could I make to see a 50% difference in our morale as a family or team?
  1. Cash: If I had to cut my budget 21%, what would be the first three things to go? If I got a surprise gift of 21% of my budget, what three things would I do immediately?
  1. Quality: What three changes could improve the quality of my work by 50% in the next twelve months?

*Bobb Biehl is an executive mentor. He graduated from Michigan State University (psychology major) in 1964 and received a Master’s degree (counseling) from Michigan State in 1966.

In 1976, Bobb founded Masterplanning Group International. As its president, he has consulted personally with over 400 clients. In that time, he has met one-on-one with over 3,500 executives (board members, senior executives, and staff members) and invested an estimated 40,000 hours in private sessions with some of the finest leaders of our generation. His clients are primarily large or fast-growing churches, nonprofit organizations, for profit corporations, and government agencies.

Based on these thousands of hours of practical “rubber-meets-the-runway” experience, Bobb has originated 35 resources (books, tapes, notebooks) in the area of personal and organizational development. These resources include published books entitled Boardroom Confidence, Dreaming, Leading with Confidence, Masterplanning, Mentoring, Stop Setting Goals, and Why You Do What You Do. His latest book, Dreaming Big, is co-authored with Dr. Paul Swets.

Bobb is a founding member of the board of directors of Focus on the Family. He is also a member of the board of directors of Liquid Metal (publicly traded). Prior to starting Masterplanning Group, Bobb was on the executive staff of World Vision International. While at World Vision he designed and developed the Love Loaf program, which has raised millions of dollars worldwide.

Bobb and his wife, Cheryl, have been married since 1964.

Book Review: Am I Called? By David T. Harvey

Great Handbook For Helping You Confirm Your Calling to the Pastoral Ministry

 Dave Harvey has done a great service to the church-at-large- as well as for individual Christian men who are wondering whether or not God is calling them to serve the church in full time pastoral ministry. I finally have a book that I can hand out without any reservations to those who come to me and ask, “How can I know for certain that I have been called by God into the pastorate?”

In three parts: a) Approaching the Call; b) Diagnosing the Call; and c) Waiting, Harvey mines theological, and exegetically based advice with a plethora of helpful bullet points, questions to ask, evaluations, and practical steps to take as one wrestles with and pursues God’s vocational calling to the pastorate.

I especially appreciated how Harvey focused on applying the gospel to an individuals life and how he addressed key issues like character development, service and affirmation from the local church, and the importance of working with a plurality of leaders in the context of a local church – alongside the necessary theological training.

One of the highlights for me was reading the biographical stories at the end of each chapter on the pastoral calling in the lives of some well known and unknown pastors of history: Thomas Scott, Charles Simeon, Lemuel Haynes, Martin Luther, David Martyn Lloyd-Jones, James Montgomery Boice, Charles Haddon Spurgeon, John Bunyan, and John Newton.

I highly recommend this book for young men who are wondering if they are called, those pastors who are struggling with their calling, and pastors and elders who are looking to invest in young men to develop as future pastors and church planters in the context of planting gospel driven churches around the globe.

Andrew Murray’s Formula for Going Through Trials

Anchors to Throw in a Time of Testing

 In Bible college at Multnomah School of the Bible in Portland, Oregon (now Multnomah University) almost three decades ago I was going through a very difficult trial. Since that time I have encountered “trials of various kinds” as James calls them in his epistle. My godly father (now 89 years old) sent me a cut out containing the following advice from Andrew Murray. I have kept this cut out in my Bible ever since and have referred to it countless times:

*(1) He brought me here. It’s by His will I am in this straight place. In that fact I will rest.

(2) He will keep me here in His love and give me grace to behave as His child.

(3) Then He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends for me to learn.

(4) In His good time, He will bring me out again—how and when He knows. So let me say: I am

(a) Here by God’s appointment.

(b) In His keeping.

(c) Under His training.

(d) For His time.

*From a Sermon by Andrew Murray on Acts 27:28-29 entitled “Anchors to Throw in a Time of Testing.” Andrew Murray was a Dutch Reformed Church missionary sent from Scotland to South Africa. Andrew pastored churches in Bloemfontein, Worcester, Cape Town and Wellington, all in South Africa. He was a champion of the South African Revival of 1860.

In 1889, he was one of the founders of the South African General Mission (SAGM), along with Martha Osborn and Spencer Walton. After Martha Osborn married George Howe, they formed the South East Africa General Mission (SEAGM) in 1891. SAGM and SEAGM merged in 1894. Because its ministry had spread into other African countries, the mission’s name was changed to Africa Evangelical Fellowship (AEF) in 1965. AEF joined with SIM in 1998 and continues to this day.

He died on January 18, 1917, four months before his eighty-ninth birthday. He was so influenced by Johann Christoph Blumhardt‘s Möttlingen revival that he included a portion of Friedrich Zündel’s biography at the end of With Christ in the School of Prayer. Over the years he has influenced many, including Jessie Penn-Lewis, a key figure in the 1904-1905 Welsh Revival. His writings have greatly influenced the writings of both Watchman Nee and Witness Lee.

Book Review – Step by Step: Divine Guidance for Ordinary Christians by James C. Petty

Good Pastoral Wisdom For Biblical Decision Making

If you are looking for a non-charismatic, non-traditional, presentation of the wisdom view articulated in a more condensed format than Gary Friesen’s book – “Decision Making and the Will of God” – this book is an excellent choice. Even if you disagree with some of Petty’s conclusions, his understanding of God’s sovereignty and providential working in the Bible, history, and our individual lives is very insightful and exegetically sound.

Some of the helpful statements Petty makes on divine guidance are as follows:

“I believe that guidance comes when you learn to apply the Word of God to your life in the wisdom provided by the Holy Spirit.”

“Knowing God’s will is the fruit of a transformed mind.”

“God, I believe, does far more than reveal his general purposes and then leave us to link ourselves to them or pragmatically calculate the most edifying outcomes”

“Guidance is given by God when he gives us insight into issues and choices so that we make the decisions with divinely inspired wisdom. Guidance comes, in short, by God making us wise.”

“He chooses to guide mediately because of the illuminating power of that Spirit.”

“The Bible, properly understood and applied by the Holy Spirit, is completely sufficient for the guidance of the believer.”

“Guidance is knowledge of the will of God, which comes by wisdom and understanding.”

One of the most helpful sections in the book is in part four where he delineates seven ways to apply biblical wisdom in the process of decision-making. There is a very solid emphasis on obeying the delineated moral will of God, and when you do that – it’s much easier to narrow our choices and decide. He gives some very practical illustrations of how to handle real life decisions that we all have to make. Petty is very pastoral, and comes across as a wise counselor himself in this book. I highly recommend that you make this one of your top reads as you seek to be wiser in the process of seeking God’s guidance and direction in your life – especially in the “hard” decisions you need to make.