FRIDAY HUMOR: “An Atheist Encounters a Grizzly Bear”

SERIES: FRIDAY HUMOR #44

GRIZZLY BEAR

An atheist was walking through the woods.

“What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!” He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rsutling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him…

He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer.

He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him… At that instant the Atheist cried out, “Oh my God!”

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. “You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.”

“Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?”

The atheist looked directly into the light, “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?”

“Very well,” said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:

“Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.”

FRIDAY HUMOR: “Have Dog, Will Travel”

FRIDAY HUMOR: #44

cocker spaniel

A Jewish woman from New York wants to take her dog to Israel, so she goes to the travel agent to find out how. He says, “It’s easy. You go to the airline, they give you a kennel, you put your dog in it, when you get off at Tel Aviv go to the luggage rack, and there’s your dog.

So she does, gets off at Tel Aviv, goes to the luggage rack, no dog. She goes to the lost and found, says, “Where’s my dog?” They look all over the airport for it, and find the dog in another terminal. Only the dog is dead.

“Oh, my Gosh, they say, we killed this woman’s dog. What are we going to do?”

Then one says, “Wait a minute, it’s a cocker spaniel. They’re common dogs.

There’s a pet shop across the street from the airport. We’ll get the same size, shape, color, sex. She’ll never know the difference.”

They bring the woman the other dog and she says, “That’s not my dog.” Laughingly and making light of it they say, “What do you mean that’s not your dog?”

And she says, “My dog’s dead. I was taking it to Israel to bury it.”