Tag: Family

Ep. 5: “How To Develop A Vertical Life Plan” – Part 4 – “Valuing Family”

Vertical Christianity

May 30, 2025 – Dr. David P. Craig, Founder, Vertical Living Ministries 

In our previous studies (Parts 1-3 of How To Develop A Vertical Life Plan) together we have looked at the importance of developing a Vertical Life Plan and have discussed the steps of writing out a life calling or purpose statement and then adding how you will implement the values of Christ into your own written life plan. We have already looked at how to put Christ first in your life by spending time with Him and prioritizing Him as first place in your daily schedule. For those of you who are married we also looked at putting your partner second to Jesus in being intentional in spending time with your spouse. Today we will look at value number three in terms of prioritizing who you spend your time with – your children.

I’ve noticed two equally dangerous behaviors in families: Neglect by the parents paying too little attention to our children and being too passive; or the opposite extreme: idolatry: making your children the most important thing in your life – even above and beyond our relationship with Jesus or our spouse. We want to strike a balance of being responsible in training our children to understand and live out the gospel; but we don’t own them – we want to prepare them to live out their individual callings from God – and release them into His guiding care. We want them to grow up and be mature — independent from us, and learn what it means to become satisfied in Jesus and depend on Him — as we are also dependent on Him, satisfied in Him, and living out our own calling in Christ. 

VALUE 3: MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY CHILDREN

KEY VERSES: Deuteronomy 6:4-9, Hear, O Israel! Yahweh is our God, Yahweh is one! “You shall love Yahweh your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. “You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. “You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as phylacteries between your eyes. “You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.  Ephesians 6:4,  …Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” 

VALUE EXPRESSED: I have been blessed with five children and eleven grand children. I must manage “first church” (my home) before I can manage the church. Therefore, I will devote myself to making disciples of my children as top priority over discipleship with anyone in the church. My children will always be with me, but people in the church will come and go. I must demonstrate this love for my children by my words and actions. I will fulfill my promises to my children and do all that I can to instill in them a passion for God and His bride—the Church.

VALUE LIVED OUT: Remember you DO what you SCHEDULE!

  1. Individual Connection – Devoting time each day to connect with, pray with, read with and encourage my children before I retire for bed.
  1. Monthly Connection – In order to make my children feel special and loved I will let each of them pick what they want to do once a month and then spend that time with them individually to grow trust, friendship, and model Christ to them in developing their God-centered worldview.
  1. Annual Vacation with the Family – Leave your work behind and focus solely on enjoying  your family away from the daily responsibilities of life. This is a time to live out Philippians 2:4 and place your families’ interests above your own.
  1. Day Off – A morning, afternoon, or evening set apart for family time. Play with, rest with and teach them the values and worldview of God-centered thinking and how it applies to all of life. Seek to live out the principles of Deuteronomy 6 in reference to instructing your children when you get up, lie down, walking, and whatever your doing.
  1. Discipleship – Use age appropriate Bibles; Books; and curriculum with your children. Some children are more intellectual and others are more hands on. Know your children and where they need knowledge, skills, and character development. The most important thing is to model God’s grace to them in the gospel in both your words and actions – there is no substitute for spending time with them and letting them know that God loves them and you love them.

Resources for The Family:

  • John MacArthur. The Fulfilled Family: God’s Design for Your Home.
  • Adrian Rogers.Ten Secrets for a Successful Family: A Perfect 10 for Homes that Win.

Resources for Parenting Young Children:

  • Ted and Margo Tripp. Instructing a Child’s Heart.
  • Ted Tripp. Shepherding a Child’s Heart.

Resources for Parenting Teens:

  • Paul David Tripp.Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens.
  • Melissa Kruger. Parenting With Hope: Raising Teens For Christ in a Secular Age.
  • Brett Kunkle and John Stonestreet. A Practical Guide to Culture: Helping the Next Generation Navigate Today’s World.

Resources for Discipling Children:

  • Sally Lloyd-Jones.The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name (ideal for ages 2-11).
  • Kevin DeYoung.The Biggest Story Bible Storybook: 104 Engaging Bible Stories for Ages 6–12, Illustrated by Don Clark.

Resources for Discipling Teens:

  • Robby Gallaty,.Foundations: New Testament – Teen Devotional: A 260-Day Bible Reading Plan for Busy Teens.
  • Josh McDowell. #truth: 365 Devotions for Teens Connecting Life and Faith.

Resources for Discipling College Students:

  • Michael J. Kruger.Surviving Religion 101: Letters to a Christian Student on Keeping the Faith in College.
  • Jonathan Morrow. Welcome to College: A Christ-Follower’s Guide for the Journey.

SOME HELPFUL QUOTES PERTAINING TO FAMILY:

  • “We should impress truth on the hearts of our children, not to control or manage them, but to point them to the greatest joy and happiness that they can experience—delighting in God and the goodness of his ways…The most effective way to teach our children to love the Scripture is to love it ourselves. They will see us longing to read it, hear it and understand it, and learn that it is valuable.” – Margy and Tedd Tripp
  • “Making disciples requires not only sharing our faith, but also sharing our lives—failures and successes, disobedience and obedience.” – Jonathan Dodson
  • “Love is making the other person great.” – J.I. Packer
  • “You can’t live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.” ~ John Wooden
  • “No matter how attractive it may seem, your tiny little kingdom of one has no capacity whatsoever to satisfy your heart…Your hope is not found in people, places, situations or possessions, but in this one thing – your Redeemer lives and is with you always…Grace frees you to live horizontally what you’ve been given vertically. While others hope to get, you can celebrate what you’ve been given.” ~ Paul David Tripp

Book Review: The Legacy By Steven J. Lawson

How To Leave A Godly Legacy for Your Children Starting Today

During the Promise Keepers Movement in the 1990’s a swarm of books were published for men to be better husbands and fathers. I read a few of them – and most of them were very good, but this is the only book I’ve come to again and again – especially for help in raising my five children (and now – two grandchildren).

Lawson grabs the reader’s attention from the beginning with thinking about the importance of what we are leaving behind with our children with a gripping story of Max Jukes’ and Jonathan Edwards’ amazing legacy. Two men who lived in the same time period – one left a legacy of ruined lives; and the other a legacy of godliness that continues until this very day.

Steve Lawson is an excellent Bible teacher and preacher – and has made it a practice in his pastorates to train, equip, and spend time with men. As a father, pastor, and man’s man – he does an outstanding job of equipping men to be outstanding leaders – especially with their families.

In Part One he writes two chapters on demonstrating the fact that we all leave legacies – the only question is whether it will be a good one, or a poor one.

In Part Two there are 14 chapters on where to focus your time and teaching with your family. He shows how to build a legacy by growing, developing, modeling, and teaching in the following areas in order to leave a legacy for years to come in: godliness, love, obedience, respect, gentleness, maturity, discipline, wisdom, responsibility, strength, and prayer. The ultimate goal is to leave behind a godly legacy like Jonathan Edwards that continues on for generations. However, you can’t expect your children to be – what you are not. They will follow in your footsteps.

Lawson’s book is convicting, challenging, and very encouraging. He bases all his points on Scripture, hammers the principles on the anvil of real life experience, and gives many practical ways to start leaving behind a godly legacy today. If you are a dad – read this book and do what it says. You will be grateful to our Lord for Lawson’s advice – and so will your future generations!