Tag: Parenting

JONATHAN EDWARDS LEGACY

3329x.gif

*THE LEGACY OF A DAD’S LIFE

“TELL ME WHO YOUR FATHER IS AND I’LL TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE” 

Every father leaves a legacy with his children—no exceptions. The only question is, what kind of legacy?

A few years ago, a team of New York state sociologists attempted to calculate the influence of a father’s life on his children and the following generations. In this study, they researched two men who lived in the 18th century. One was Max Jukes, the other Jonathan Edwards. The legacy that each of these men left their descendants stands as a study in contrasts; they are as different as night and day.

Max Jukes was an unbeliever, a man with no principles. His wife also lived and died in unbelief. What kind of a lasting influence did he leave his family? Among the 1,200 known descendants of Max Jukes were:

  • 440 lives of outright debauchery (excessive indulgence in sensual pleasures)
  • 310 paupers and vagrants
  • 190 public prostitutes
  • 130 convicted criminals
  • 100 alcoholics
  • 60 habitual thieves
  • 55 victims of impurity
  • 7 murderers

Research shows that not one of Jukes’ descendants made a significant contribution to society—not one! To the contrary, this notorious family collectively cost the state of New York $1,200,000.00.

Not much of a legacy.

What about the family of Jonathan Edwards? Regarded as the most brilliant mind America has ever produced, Edwards was a noted pastor and astute theologian. This renowned scholar was the instrument God used to bring about the Great Awakening in colonial America. Later, he served as the president of Princeton College.

Jonathan Edwards came from a godly heritage and married Sarah, a women of great faith. Together, they sought to leave an entirely different legacy. Among his male descendants were:

  • 300 pastors, missionaries , or theological professors
  • 120 college professors
  • 110 lawyers
  • 60 physicians
  • 60 authors of good books
  • 30 judges
  • 14 presidents of universities
  • numerous giants in American industry
  • 3 U.S. congressmen
  • 1 vice-president of the United States

There is scarcely any great American industry that has not had one of Jonathan Edwards descendants as its chief promoter. Such is the lasting influence of a godly man.

Now that’s a legacy!

Every man leaves a lasting influence on his children that will affect future generations for centuries to come. But let’s face it, not all legacies are the same. Some are productive, others destructive. Some are illustrious, others are infamous. How you live your life will affect generations to come. The only question is, what kind of a legacy will you leave behind?

THIS IS YOUR LIFE

To help you answer that question, I want you to imagine that you have just walked into a church to attend a funeral service. The mood is somber, the crowd quiet. Loved ones are making there way past the open casket for the final viewing of the body. Many are weeping. Some are wiping their eyes with handkerchiefs. A few stand gazing at the lifeless body.

The specific time has now come for the service to begin. As the minister approaches the pulpit, he motions for the congregation to rise. The family of the deceased slowly proceeds down the center aisle to the front.

Anxiously, you look up to identify the family. As you peer into the face of each member, you are in for the shock of your life. Suddenly, you realize this is your family!

You are attending…your funeral!

In stunned disbelief, you respond to the minister’s directions for the congregation to be seated. He begins by expressing his feelings of appreciation for your life. What he says is nice and flattering. But at the same time, his words are generic and impersonal.

Let’s be honest, it’s the words of your family, those closest to you that matter most. What will your wife say about you? What will your children say about you? 

The minister finishes his eulogy and motions to your children to come to the pulpit. They approach the platform, waiting their turn to speak about how you influenced their lives. One by one, your kids reflect on their years with you and share remembrances of you as their dad. They recall incidents you have long forgotten. They remember your impact, reflect on your character, and recite your virtues. 

At this point, all you can do is listen. With riveted attention, you hang on their every word. These are the most important sentences you will ever hear anyone speak about you. Your lasting success as a dad is measured by what they say.

All imagination aside, if you died today, what would your children remember you for? What would be your legacy to them?

What your children take from your life, in large measure, will define your legacy as a dad. Your lasting influence upon their lives will mark whether or not you lived successfully as a dad. This will be your legacy.

*Adapted from the book The Legacy: What Every Father Wants To Leave His Child by Steven J. Lawson, pp. 13-15

Book Review Of Stu Weber’s “Tender Warrior”

526139.jpg

“God’s Design For Biblical Manhood”

Book Review by Dr. David P. Craig

I can hardly believe the speed with which God’s design for biblical manhood and womanhood has been decaying in American culture. I am so grateful for the legacy that my own parents have left behind for their four children, and multiple grand, and great grand children. My parents weren’t perfect by any means, but they were godly and strove to be biblical in every aspect of life which nowadays is saying a ton. In a culture where idolatry, selfishness, and any semblance of character and integrity are woefully lacking – this book offers much needed help for men who take God, marriage, parenting,, and friendship seriously.

Using personal examples, biblical examples, and principles based on God’s design for biblical manhood exemplified in Jesus, Stu Weber has written a very good biblical manual for men to help them think and act in accordance with God’s design for manhood. In a day where confusion reigns in regard to God’s purpose for men and women this book gives clarity and practical teaching on the purpose, calling, meaning, and design for manhood. I highly recommend Weber’s book as a helpful guide for men of any age.

8 THINGS EVERY CHILD NEEDS

baby imageEvery Child Needs…

At least one adult who is a positive role model.

To feel accepted.

Recognition.

A sense of belonging.

To feel safe and secure.

Some control over his or her environment.

Social interaction skills.

To accept responsibility for his or her behavior.

*SOURCE: Leah Davies condensed from http://www.kellybear.com

Book Review: The Blessing by John Trent and Gary Smalley

 Would Be Much Better If It Were More Christo-centric and Less Anthropo-centric

The Blessing seeks to be a corrective and preventative guide for parents so that they will foster a high sense of self-esteem, security, and develop children that feel blessed and filled with hope via the loving and positive communication at the heart of God the Father’s love for us. The book is based on the biblical story contrasting the blessing received and not received by the sons of Isaac, and the consequences good and bad thereof.

These are good objectives. According to the author’s this happens best by using meaningful and appropriate touch; spoken words of encouragement; adding value through unconditional love; building in them

Trent and Smalley suggest five vital factors to giving a blessing: Meaningful and appropriate touch; a spoken message; attaching high value to the one being blessed; picturing a special future for him or her; and an active commitment to succeed by fulfilling the blessing you have bestowed upon them.

I experienced all that the author’s talked about from my own parents – for which I am extremely grateful. However, my largest concern about this book isn’t so much what it says – but what it doesn’t say. It is a book that can be equally beneficial to the Christian and the non-Christian (not necessarily a bad thing). What I mean by this is that it is not ultimately helpful in that it is not ultimately Christo-centric in its approach, but behavioristic in its approach. I believe that what children need more than anything else is to know Jesus and to be Christ-centered and not self-centered. The danger of this book is that you make your children and children make you, or themselves an idolatry. I would like to see more balance along the lines of what the author’s suggest with more biblical, theological, and Christo-centric gospel driven focus. A much better approach is offered in Ted Tripp’s “Shepherding A Child’s Heart.”

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

 

 

 

Book Review: Fathering Like The Father by Kenneth O. Gangel and Jeffrey S. Gangel

Father and Son team up in this book seeking to accomplish three goals: to help Christian dads communicate God’s Word, to become better conversationalists with our Heavenly Father, and to provide resources in producing godly fathering.

Each chapter takes one of 15 attributes (humor, grace and mercy, forgiveness, love, jealousy, truthfulness, friendship, communication, holiness, discipline, faithfulness, wisdom, intimacy, trustworthiness, and goodness) of God’s “fathering” behavior and hones in on a key Biblical passage to show how earthly father’s can learn from God’s ways of fathering us; provides a real life story, or example related to each topic from Ken and Jeff; a section offering principles, applications, and action steps; questions for discussion; and helpful suggestions for Father/child dialogue.

I found the book to be Biblically based; clear; concise; illuminating; insightful; deepened my appreciation for how God “fathers” us, and encouraging in helping me to become a better father, and grandfather to my kids and their kids. I hope that many dads will read this book and apply its principles so that we can spread the fragrance of Christ in our families and influence our culture by reflecting God’s glory by being more like His Son.

Book Review: The Legacy By Steven J. Lawson

How To Leave A Godly Legacy for Your Children Starting Today

During the Promise Keepers Movement in the 1990’s a swarm of books were published for men to be better husbands and fathers. I read a few of them – and most of them were very good, but this is the only book I’ve come to again and again – especially for help in raising my five children (and now – two grandchildren).

Lawson grabs the reader’s attention from the beginning with thinking about the importance of what we are leaving behind with our children with a gripping story of Max Jukes’ and Jonathan Edwards’ amazing legacy. Two men who lived in the same time period – one left a legacy of ruined lives; and the other a legacy of godliness that continues until this very day.

Steve Lawson is an excellent Bible teacher and preacher – and has made it a practice in his pastorates to train, equip, and spend time with men. As a father, pastor, and man’s man – he does an outstanding job of equipping men to be outstanding leaders – especially with their families.

In Part One he writes two chapters on demonstrating the fact that we all leave legacies – the only question is whether it will be a good one, or a poor one.

In Part Two there are 14 chapters on where to focus your time and teaching with your family. He shows how to build a legacy by growing, developing, modeling, and teaching in the following areas in order to leave a legacy for years to come in: godliness, love, obedience, respect, gentleness, maturity, discipline, wisdom, responsibility, strength, and prayer. The ultimate goal is to leave behind a godly legacy like Jonathan Edwards that continues on for generations. However, you can’t expect your children to be – what you are not. They will follow in your footsteps.

Lawson’s book is convicting, challenging, and very encouraging. He bases all his points on Scripture, hammers the principles on the anvil of real life experience, and gives many practical ways to start leaving behind a godly legacy today. If you are a dad – read this book and do what it says. You will be grateful to our Lord for Lawson’s advice – and so will your future generations!