Friday Humor: A History Lesson on High Finance

Series: Friday Humor #22

Fishing on a lake

Brief History:

The questions:

Over a generation ago, in 1923, who was:

1. President of the largest steel company?

2. President of the largest gas company?

3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?

4. Greatest wheat speculator?

5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?

6. Great Bear of Wall Street?

These men were considered some of the worlds most successful of their day.
Now, 80 years later, the history book asks us if we know what
ultimatelybecame of them…?

The answers:
1. The president of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab, died a pauper.

2. The president of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, went insane.

3. The president of the New York Stock Exchange, Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home.

4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless.

5. The president of the Bank of International Settlement, Shot himself……

6. The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Livermore, also committed suicide.

However, in that same year, 1923, the IGFA Champion and the winner of the most important Fishing Tournament was Eredio Munoz, Sr.

What became of him?

He continued fishing and eating his catch until he was 99, died at the age of 100.
He was alert and financially secure at the time of his death.

The moral of this history lesson:
Forget work……..!
GO FISHING………… !
You’ll live longer and be better off in the end!

God Can, and God Does – An Encouraging Word

Lady Walking alone on the beach

When you feel unlovable, unworthy and unclean, when you think that no one can heal you: Remember, friend, God Can.

When you think that you are unforgivable for your guilt and your shame:  Remember, friend, God Can.

When you think that all is hidden and no one can see within:  Remember, friend, God Can.

And when you have reached the bottom and you think that no one can hear:  Remember, my dear friend, God Can.

And when you think that no one can love the real person deep inside of you:  Remember,my dear friend, God Does.

“In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for out sins.” – 1 John 4:9-10

Spurgeon on Christ’s Love for You

sunset-in-hawaii-1.jpg

The Love of Christ by Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Christ loved you before you loved him.

He loved you when there was nothing good in you.

He loved you though you insulted him, though you despised him and rebelled against him.

He has loved you right on, and never ceased to love you.

He has loved you in your backslidings and loved you out of them.

He has loved you in your sins, in your wickedness and folly.

His loving heart will still eternally the same, and shed his heart’s blood to prove his love for you.

He has given you what you need on earth, and provided for you an habitation in heaven.

Now, Christian, your religion claims from you, that you should love others, as your Master loved you.

How can you imitate him, unless you love too?

With you “un” kindness should be a strange anomaly. It is a gross contradiction to the spirit of your religion,

And if you do not love your neighbor, I cannot see how you can be a true follower of Jesus.

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.” – John 15:12-14

A Garden That You Should Plant Daily

Butchart gardens 1

For best results, this garden should be planted every day:

Five Rows of “P”eas:

  • Preparedness,
  • Perseverance,
  • Promptness,
  • Politeness,
  • Prayer.

Three Rows of Squash:

  • Squash gossip,
  • Squash criticism,
  • Squash indifference.

Five Rows of Lettuce:

  • Let us love one another,
  • Let us be faithful,
  • Let us be loyal,
  • Let us be unselfish,
  • Let us be truthful.

Three Rows of Turnips:

  • Turn up for church,
  • Turn up with a new idea,
  • Turn up with the determination to do a better job tomorrow than you did today.

– Eugene Prime

What Failure Does, and Doesn’t Mean

track sprinters

Failure doesn’t mean that you are a failure; it does mean you haven’t yet succeeded.

Failure doesn’t mean that you have accomplished nothing; 

it does mean that you have learned something.

Failure doesn’t mean that you have been a fool; it does mean you have a lot of faith.

Failure doesn’t mean that you have been disgraced; it does mean that you were willing to try.

Failure doesn’t mean you don’t have it; it does mean you have to do something in a different way.

Failure doesn’t mean you are inferior; it does mean you are not perfect.

Failure doesn’t mean you’ve wasted your life; it does mean you can start afresh.

Failure doesn’t mean you should give up; it does mean you must try harder.

Failure doesn’t mean you will never make it; it does mean it will take a little longer.

Failure doesn’t mean God has abandoned you; it does mean God has a better way.

– Author unknown

Friday Humor: Do Dead Men Bleed?

Friday Humor #19 – From Set Forth Your Case by Clark Pinnock

SFYC Pinnock

ONCE UPON A TIME there was a man who thought he was dead. His concerned wife and friends sent him to the friendly neighborhood psychiatrist. The psychiatrist determined to cure him by convincing him of one fact that contradicted his belief that he was dead. The psychiatrist decided to simply use the simple truth that dead men do not bleed. He put his patient to work reading medical texts, observing autopsies, etc. After weeks of effort, the patient finally said, “All right, all right! You’ve convinced me. Dead men do not bleed.” Whereupon the psychiatrist stuck him in the arm with a needle, and the blood flowed. The man looked down with a contorted, ashen face and cried: “Good Lord! Dead men bleed after all!”

*Note: Set Forth Your Case is a pretty good book on Apologetics, but I wouldn’t endorse any of Pinnock’s books on Soteriology (the Doctrine of Salvation); Theology Proper (the Doctrine of God) or Bibliology (the Doctrine of Scripture). As a theologian Pinnock abandoned his earlier held (orthodox) beliefs as he got older and embraced Open Theism and denied biblical Inerrancy; he also held to several other aberrant views that are embraced by most Orthodox Evangelicals. (DPC). 

Friday Humor: Classic Yogi-isms From Yogi Berra

Friday Humor #16: Some of My Favorite Yogi-isms!

Yogi Berra

Lawrence Peter Berra played Major League Baseball for 19 years for the New York Yankees. He played on 10 World Series Championship teams, is a MLB Hall of Famer and has some awe-inspiring stats. His name is consistently brought up as one of the best catchers in baseball history, and he was voted to the Team of the Century in 1999.

Amazing accomplishments aside, they probably aren’t how you know Lawrence. You know him as Yogi, a nickname given to him by a friend who likened his cross-legged sitting to a yogi. Yogi is famous for his fractured English, malapropisms and sometimes nonsensical quotes. Here are some of my favorites:

“He must’ve made that picture before he died.”

“I’ve got nothing to say and I’m only going to say it once.”

“Slump? I ain’t in no slump. I just ain’t hitting.”

“If people don’t want to come out to the park, nobody’s going to stop them.”

“I don’t care what people say. That’s for them to say.”

“It’s like deja vu all over again.”

“We made too many wrong mistakes.”

“You can observe a lot just by watching.”

“A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.”

“He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s amphibious.”

“If the world was perfect, it wouldn’t be.”

“If you don’t know where you’re going, you might end up some place else.”

Responding to a question about remarks attributed to him that he did not think were his: “I really didn’t say everything I said.”

“The future ain’t what it use to be.”

“I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.”

On why he no longer went to Ruggeri’s, a St. Louis restaurant: “Nobody goes there anymore because it’s too crowded.”

“I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.”

“We have deep depth.”

“All pitchers are liars or crybabies.”

Yogi Berra Catching

When giving directions to Joe Garagiola to his New Jersey home, which is accessible by two routes: “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

“Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.”

“Never answer anonymous letters.”

On being the guest of honor at an awards banquet: “Thank you for making this day necessary.”

“The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.”

“Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.”

As a general comment on baseball: “90% of the game is half mental.”

“I don’t know (if they were men or women running naked across the field). They had bags over their heads.”

“It gets late early out there.”

Reporter: “Yogi, have you made your mind up yet?” Berra: “Not that I know of.”

“Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?” -Carmen Berra, Yogi’s wife. “Surprise me.” – Yogi

“It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.”

“If I had to do it all over again, I would do it over again.”

“It ain’t over till it’s over.”

Yogi Berra saying bye

10 Ways The “Man of Steel” Points Us To Jesus

How The Man of Steel Helps Us to Behold Jesus – The Real Superman by David P. Craig

Man of Steel

On the road to Emmaus after Jesus rose from the dead He appears to His disciples and speaks of how all the Scriptures pointed to Himself: “And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself” (Luke 24:27). Last night I went to see the movie “Man of Steel” about Superman with my wife and one of my daughters. We enjoyed the movie and afterward discussed some of the parallels between Superman and Jesus. The movie doesn’t purport to be a theologically accurate portrait of Jesus, but nevertheless it is rare occasion when you leave a movie thinking and talking about Jesus – and for that very reason alone this movie is very significant and worth seeing. This movie has been doing very well around the world – I think it’s because all of humanity longs for what Superman points us to – the real Superman – The Lord Jesus Christ. There’s probably more parallels than the ones we discussed, but here’s what we came up with:

(1) The first pointer is an ironic one. Jesus was born of a virgin (Isaiah 7:14 cf. with Matthew 1:20). In the movie everyone on Krypton is conceived through a sterile process that does not involve sexual reproduction. Kal-El (Superman) is the first child born in many centuries of a natural birth. This is the opposite of the way it is between all humans and Christ – nevertheless Superman’s birth like Jesus’ is totally unique among his people.

(2) Superman like Jesus has a “Heavenly” Father and an adopted earthly father and mother. Jesus had always been with His Heavenly Father and then came to earth and was raised by his earthly father and mother – Joseph and Mary. Superman had a Father on Krypton – Jor-El  (played by Russell Crowe)  and came to earth and was raised by his adopted dad, Jonathan Kent (played by Kevin Costner).

(3) Throughout his life Superman is mocked, taunted, and even beaten by others and refuses to retaliate in words or actions. This reminds us of Jesus: “He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he oppened not his mouth” (Isaiah 53:7).

(4) Superman has tremendous powers as a child and refrains from using them accept to save others. Jesus came in total humility and lived in his human nature and refrained from using His omnipotent powers which reminds us of Philippians 2:3-5, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of us look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.”

(5) Superman like Jesus has a “Heavenly” name (Kal-El) and a name given to him by his earthly parents (Clark). Jesus is called Immanuel “God with us” in Isaiah, and then Joseph and Mary are told to call Him Jesus “for He will save his people from their sins” (Matthew 1:21).

(6) Kal-El has to battle the vicious archenemy of humanity and the Kryptonites throughout the movie and ends up victorious just as Jesus was constantly attacked by Satan and was victorious. This reminds us of John 10:10, “The thief [Satan] comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I [Jesus] came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

(7) Superman keeps his identity hidden until it is time to fulfill his mission. Jesus also waited to accomplish His mission in the fullness of time: “But when the fulness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born or woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons” (Galatians 4:4-5).

(8) Kal-El (Superman) was sent to earth by his Father to save the world. Jesus was sent by His Heavenly Father to save the world – “For the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and give His life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45).

(9) Clark Kent gives himself up in a crucifix pose at the age of 33 and fulfills his mission for which he came to earth – the same age Jesus was when He was crucified on the cross.

(10)  Superman was “cut-off” from his Father for the good of humanity. Just as Jesus was “forsaken” by His Heavenly Father for the salvation of humanity: “He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned–every one–to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all” (Isaiah 53:3-6).

Friday Humor: “The Man Who Never Sinned”

Series: Friday Humor #13

Man in suit distroted

A man walked up to Pastor Ray Stedman and said, “you know pastor I have come to the amazing realization that in all my life I have never sinned.” Ray responded “wow you must be very proud of that huh?” The man beamed “yes I am.” Ray looked him over and said “Welcome to your first sin.”

This story reminds us of the teaching about pride in Proverbs 16:8, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

How Long Would it Take to Reach The World for Christ?

C&C David Watson

If you were an outstanding gifted evangelist with an international reputation, and if, under God, you could win 1,000 persons for Christ every night of every year, how long would it take you to win the whole world for Christ?

Answer: Ignoring the population explosion over 10,000 years.

But if you are a true disciple of Christ, and if you are able under God to win just one person to Christ each year; and if you could then train that person to win one other person to Christ; and if you could then train that person to win one other person for Christ each year, how long would it take to win the world for Christ?

 Answer: just 32 years!

– David Watson, speaking of James Kennedy’s illustration